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im not sure what to tell you as you already pointed out the obvious caveat yourself with that edit...
maybe you could try using an instance without a downvote button... at least blajah.zone had that i think
im not trying to invalidate your opinionated observation but afaict most people use the downvote to convey disagreement more than anything. i can remember a couple of interactions where the downvotes had felt like what you describe, but thinking back, it was always in one or another certain community (also it was on that shitty, commercial lemmy-knockoff) so maybe the users there were just very opinionated against my opinions 🤷
added: pardon me, that was blahaj.zone actually
Can anyone confirm blajah.zone doesn't have a downvote button?
I'd be just as happy not to see votes at all. Maybe there's an app that has that as a feature.
Edit: That app is the one I'm using! Voyager! Woopee!