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The thing is, I have been that person who is responding and someone else was downvoting the other person. So personally I never assume it's the other person, and I wouldn't bother engaging with someone who is acting in bad faith. But assuming this does happen, you can interpret it more as a "fuck this idea" than a "fuck you".
But overall, don't bother caring about downvotes. It's never going to affect your real life. People will people, and people are dumb.
Well, I guess it just sort of echoes my real life is why I have a problem with it. I've been at an organization for six years and seen that I've never had an opportunity for advancement despite being really qualified. My going theory is that, because I very mildly autistic (peer-reviewed), that I'm too "blunt" and doesn't do enough social greasing, so, basically, people don't like me; so I guess that's why I'm overly sensitive to my contributions not being welcome on the internet when I'm discussing a topic with people.
There is definitely an art to including yourself in conversations. It's easy to just lore-dump when you have deep passion or knowledge, rather than understanding what OP (or third parties if you are disagreeing with an intransigent OP) actually want or need to hear. I'll let you know when I've mastered it. 😆
I often read the comments of two people going back and forth, and if one of them is objectively false, I will downvote them. Not as a fuck you, but as a "You aren't as correct as you think you are. Look into it"
Do you reckon that actually works? I just figured I can cause people to pile on by getting a comment's score to -2 (I am a contemptuous and toxic person in my worst moments)
If it's just the one down vote I assume it's from the other person in the exchange being petty.
Exactly. But if it's two you might think it's a valid response. If you're fresh off reddit you might even do it without reading. It's what somebody allergic to touching grass would do.
If it's more than one but there's no comments with sourced rebuttals than I think it's a subjective difference of opinion. If there's a factually incorrect statement, then I expect a reply presenting proof of such.
Many, many posts and comments have one downvote. People have suggested that a person or bot gives them out randomly.
I KNOW they’re the only person reading my comment reply in an older thread, and they downvote me
I don't think you do. See, you can sort your feed my "new comments" so I quite often see old threads pop up where two people suddenly started a conversation again. Sometimes I check it out and vote on it.
But you could actually literally just look up who downvoted you, then you'd actually know. Votes are public. Then again, you really should just stop caring.
But you could actually literally just look up who downvoted you, then you’d actually know. Votes are public. Then again, you really should just stop caring.
the day i rageresearch who's downboating my toasts is the day i retire from online
this is really funny lol
ty for giving me a lil giggle
I mean, OP seems to actually care that much.
Haha, I actually accidentally downvoted you trying to figure out which way to swipe on Voyager to reply to you. I'll fix it when I'm done writing this comment.
How do you look up votes? On the web version?
You go to https://lemvotes.org/ and put in the link to a comment/post/user.
Ah! Thank you! Turns out it was a drive-by fuck you.
I haven't really considered the "new comment" search feature; if I get an immediate vote, I assume it's from the only person who would get a notification that I'd written a comment.
When I do that, I try to vote on both comments, so the other person doesn’t get that association.
Interesting, seems like lemvotes doesn't show downvotes for Mbin users. Only upvotes.
The truth is, you'll never know why somebody downvoted you.
Time spent thinking about it is time spent not having a good time - is time being wasted
Yeah...
Downvotes are supposed to be about the discussion.
If a comment if just flat out wrong and overly confident I'm down voting because it's bad information.
If someone is asking actual questions, then I tend to upvote because that contributes to the discussion.
But lots of people definitely get their feelings hurt if you downvote them, I tend to block those people after a couple of replies. They're usually just here to argue, they treat social media like debate club for a dopamine hit.
A lot of people online seem to actually enjoy arguing and starting fights. It's very strange
Not really.
This has the lowest barrier of entry and almost impossible to stop people from making accounts.
The worst of the worst are always going to show up here, just block them and forget they exist, it's super easy
Actually most people I've run into here have been super chill and nice, which is a nice surprise. Like a 1:100 asshole to niceness ratio. Compared to Reddit anyway where it feels like the assholes outnumber everyone else 😂
There's this thing some people believe that blocking is letting them win. Nah, fuck 'em. Blocking is protecting your nervous system from needless negativity. Those micro cortisol spikes add up fast.
You are in complete control regarding how you interpret and how it effects you. That arbitrary number under your posts and comments do not quantify any real metric and you shouldn't let it bother you or guide your participation.
Yes, I agree completely with this. You are very right.
I think downvotes with a comment are a lesser negative feedback than swearing. More like a frown or shaking your head than swearing.
Blocking or trolling is the swearing equivalent.
Can you explain why blocking is considered a negative thing? To me it just means protecting myself from a person that upsets me
Blocking or trolling is the swearing equivalent.
No, leaving a comment with a swear is the swearing equivalent ....
I sometimes use it to mean "I don't think you read what I wrote" or "I don't think that's relevant" in one-on-one discussions, but it has to be pretty egregious, since I upvote anyone who replies to me by default and simply not voting is my version of the downvote in that situation.
I've happily traded insults back and forth with people without them downvoting me or me downvoting them. Isn't that interesting? Just a long a thread of us finding new ways to call each other stupid morons yet neither of us are willing to downvote. I respect it.
Yes. Interpreting downvotes is dumb.
I don't know, if that someone is out of arguments, doesn't have anything useful to add and the both of you havn't reached a consensus, it might just be a way of saying "i disagree, but i know i'm not convincing you, so i'm out" it's a way of explaining that you don't agree which can be important in some very small comunities.
Side note : putting "fuck you" in big bold letter at the center of your post feels somewhat incendiary. As though you held all your readers accountable... (I know that's not what you mean, but it pits peoples against you from the start which may not be desirable
I don't think that's a good use of the downvote button because it DISCOURAGES conversation, and conversation is what's important in small communities. Like if you just wrote a few paragraphs to talk to one person, and maybe you even ask for clarification on a point, and the ONLY response is a downvote? That's very discouraging.
If you don't want to continue the conversation, just don't continue the conversation.
I'm putting the fuck you in there because I'm having a strong reaction, and that's what the reaction is, and I'm asking of that's really a crazy reaction or not. I mean, I think it is a bit crazy, but I totally understand where its coming from in the context of having a conversation with someone.
I dunno, i havn't looked at your comment history, but with some people, say a grandfather/mother saying unacceptable things, you can't reeducate them, so you just let the conversation die by not responding or by clearing one's throat ...
√{-_-}√
To continue on the side note, i meant that "fuck them" would have been a better choice of words. (If you absolutely need to use the word fuck)
Yes, I agree very much.
There is no karma here so it literally doesn't matter, I would try to not worry about it
If I downvote a comment or post, it's mainly because I don't think the comment has any value and/or doesn't add anything to the discussion. If I don't like the poster specifically because their idea reflects a harmful mindset I want to discourage, then I'll sometimes go the extra mile to specifically tell them to fuck off, because yeah, fuck them.
Downvote does have negativity associated with it. But it's important to separate:
For a lot of us, it's an automatic defensiveness pipeline from start to finish. The hard part is drawing a line between each concept without your emotions bleeding up/down into other categories. If you master this skill, it can help you in other parts of your life you mentioned in the comments.
Good luck! ✧*。ヾ(´∀｀*)ﾉ
If you are in a one-on-one back and forth conversation, and your partner is downvoting everything you post, they are not having a good faith discussion with you.
It is a fuck you. Why spend time and effort on someone just throwing negativity at you?
More so if they go through your account and start downvoting everything.
nah, that's fine because it's obvious; be sneaky, be selective.
How about thinking of voting behaviour as being unrelated to what you wrote, instead it being a reflection on what they read.
One on one in a public forum is never private and people will throw their vote just for giggles with no input whatsoever from the other person.
If you want to really know what another person thinks, you're essentially shit out of luck because nobody really knows what anyone else is thinking.
In other words .. voting and breathing are life affirming and uncontrolled processes.
My personal rule is that if someone is posting something worth engaging with a reply, then I don't downvote — even if they downvote me because that didn't ultimately mean anything. If they are disagreeing but doing it well (being thoughtful and respectful for our differences), I even upvote people I'm disagreeing with. Though not if they are downvoting me lol.
But the thing is, my rules apply to exactly me and no one else. I chose with whom I engage, and how, and when to stop whether on good terms or bad. Also my rules are somewhat arbitrary and subject to change if they aren't serving me well.
Anyway, I leave it to other readers to judge each person's conduct for themselves. If they are being an asshole and I'm not, then the people who appreciate my comment are there people I care to reach. If someone thinks being an asshole is funny and entertaining, I don't care about their opinion anyway.
Yeah, if I see someone I'm talking with at 0 or negative, I'll give them an upvote because I appreciate them discussing things with me and I'm thinking, "What the fuck, guys, let them talk."
im not sure what to tell you as you already pointed out the obvious caveat yourself with that edit...
maybe you could try using an instance without a downvote button... at least blajah.zone had that i think
im not trying to invalidate your opinionated observation but afaict most people use the downvote to convey disagreement more than anything. i can remember a couple of interactions where the downvotes had felt like what you describe, but thinking back, it was always in one or another certain community (also it was on that shitty, commercial lemmy-knockoff) so maybe the users there were just very opinionated against my opinions 🤷
added: pardon me, that was blahaj.zone actually
Can anyone confirm blajah.zone doesn't have a downvote button?
I'd be just as happy not to see votes at all. Maybe there's an app that has that as a feature.
Edit: That app is the one I'm using! Voyager! Woopee!
I don't care about the public voting. I don't want it. I do want the ability to rate everything for my user profile to use to make a feed for me personally. Not with anything complex but actually using my ratings I assign. I upvote everything because I have the setting where its considered looking at it so when I refresh it won't show again.
Importance of up/ down votes you receive should be proportional to the effort it took for me to give
Why do people care about up/down votes or messages?
