this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
404 points (99.3% liked)

196

6504 readers
2721 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 130 points 1 day ago (11 children)

Explanation if any of our foreign cousins want it.

Tea, short for tea time.

In the South you used to (and still do) have the following three meals a day:

Breakfast, lunch, dinner.

In the North, however...

Breakfast, dinner, tea.

Both might tie the end of the day off with supper too. Brunch is for the jobless middle class and wandered into the conversation with yuppies in the 80s.

There's also a tea break, which is usually just a cup (or mug if you are a ruffian) of tea. Not to be confused with tea time, where you might reasonably expect to eat your dinner.

Then there's high tea, which yes, features tea. Often a pot and almost never a mug. It frequently comes with anemic sandwiches and perhaps a scone.

I hope that clears things up.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Can I use the same mug to microwave all of my meals and tea? I promise to wipe the inside clean with the corner of my shirt.

[–] edwardbear@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

isn’t that how you are supposed to do it?

[–] Iusedtobeanalien@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

It's not a north/south thing It's a working class/posho thing

[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

There's a degree of that, but having lived all over the UK in the last 50 years, I can tell you it really is a North/South thing.

[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 2 points 9 hours ago

There's also a tea break, which is usually just a cup (or mug if you are a ruffian) of tea.

Then there's high tea

What time do you usually have these?

Not to be confused with tea time, where you might reasonably expect to eat your dinner.

Are we talking South dinner or North dinner? .

[–] mr_satan@lemmy.zip 57 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I hope that clears things up.

Not really. You had me in the first half, tho.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

Right? I'm clearly far too American to understand. I'm more confused than I was before.

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 4 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

In my house we use the Southern words during the week and the Northern version on Sundays, as in Sunday Dinner. Are we weird or does anyone else do that?

[–] dave@feddit.uk 1 points 1 hour ago

I’m from the north but live with southerners now. I grew up with dinner at noon (in school—dinner time, dinner-ladies).

We’ve now compromised on breakfast, lunch, tea, and on Sunday it’s a grey area between Sunday lunch and Sunday dinner depending on how much the schedule has slipped.

[–] theo@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

I've always called it Sunday lunch, but do use a mush of dinner and tea. Dinner is just the biggest meal of the day, and may or may not be at tea time.

[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

Oh yeah, that's definitely a thing too!

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 23 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

Dinner, as the main meal, used to be closer to midday in agrarian times, with the evening meal being a light supper. Only the industrial revolution, with workers spending most of the working day in the workplace, changed this.

[–] BurntWits@sh.itjust.works 13 points 21 hours ago

Where my family’s from, that naming convention is still used.

Breakfast - first meal of the day

Dinner - midday meal

Supper - evening meal

Lunch - a small snack with no specific time

[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Yep, and that industrial revolution is responsible for the N/S split in terms too, the factories of the north and all that.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 5 points 22 hours ago

Interestingly most Psych units I've worked (US) serve (roughly timed):

0800 - breakfast

  • along with a lightly caffeinated coffee or tea, the only caffeine routinely served

1200 - lunch

1700 - dinner

2000 - snack

  • usually prepackaged chips and crackers, sometimes cookies or ice cream. The long stay hospital gave the patients 25¢ for every group they attended and they could order nicer stuff from the staff member who made the weekly Walmart trip.
[–] OryxAndCake@slrpnk.net 11 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

Then there’s high tea, which yes, features tea. Often a pot and almost never a mug. It frequently comes with anemic sandwiches and perhaps a scone.

Wrong way round.

High tea is/was the working class term for an evening meal as it was had at the table, and it would usually include cooked meat.

Afternoon tea is the posh one in the afternoon with the cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off.

[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

What you've done there is confuse what I was describing as usage with historical context.

What you just said is like saying, "actually Gay really means just happy".

I mean, yes, it did, but now not so much.

And that's the difference between descriptive and prescriptive usage.

David Foster Wallace talks about it a fair bit in one of his essays. Prescriptive description of English usage being somewhat colonial and, to an extent, authoritarian as well as being particularly useless on the ground, so to speak.

So yeah, it was that way around, but try using it that way round now and see how far you get.

[–] OryxAndCake@slrpnk.net 1 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Ok, go edit the wikipedia article then if you're so sure of yourself.

[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago

Errr... That's not what I'm saying chief. I'm saying you are right, just that things have changed in usage.

The wiki article actually says that too.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 7 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Interestingly, in Canada "high tea" is a fancy afternoon tea with little sandwiches and desserts. Often something you can book at posh hotels like Fairmonts.

[–] OryxAndCake@slrpnk.net 3 points 19 hours ago

I've seen places here mix them up too, it's not uncommon.

If you want to be a pedant or just find this sort of thing amusing, you could send the hotel restaurant a link to the wikipedia page.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 3 points 19 hours ago

Ah Britain, sailing the high teas

[–] arandomthought@sh.itjust.works 9 points 23 hours ago

I somehow feel more informed and more confused at the same time.

[–] thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 6 points 22 hours ago

10 o'clock tea and elevenses could both reasonably fit the bill here I feel.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

In the South you used to (and still do) have the following three meals a day:

Breakfast, lunch, dinner.

In the North, however...

Breakfast, dinner, tea.

In the South, we sometimes have "breakfast, dinner, supper" (especially in rural areas; city folks are more likely to have "breakfast, lunch, dinner") and our tea definitely has ice and a fuckton of sugar in it.

[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Are we both talking about the UK here?

Ice and sugar in tea feels distinctly not British at all.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 0 points 13 hours ago (2 children)
[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe it's a culture thing, but that comes across as a wildly patronising comment from someone who just wandered into a conversation about "not the US" and started talking about the US.

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 hours ago

It's not a cultural thing, it is universally unhinged

[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You can also have "breakfast, lunch and tea", or breakfast, dinner and dinner".

[–] adam_y@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I'm sure. Although I've never met anyone who uses breakfast dinner dinner.

Like, seriously, I can't imagine living like that.

[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 3 points 14 hours ago

The thing is, you might not know! A work colleague who calls their 12:30pm break their "dinner break", might separately go home and ask their partner "what should we have for dinner?".