Apologies if this isn’t allowed, it’s more of a rant. Just wondering how everyone deals with the whole family asking for free photos thing.
For context, I’m a professional fashion/commercial photographer so family portraits aren’t going to help my portfolio or anything. My schedule is incredibly busy year round, even more so during the holidays, and I’m also a mother of two young kids. So if I’m not in parent mode, I’m working- often until midnight, and then I’m awake around 5:30 with the kids. I know it sounds like I’m complaining and… well, I kind of am, but want to give an accurate picture of how little time I have available to be doing free photos.
So every year, my in-laws want a family session. Not just a quick snap but like a full session. And every year I do it because they’re my in-laws and I don’t want them to think badly of me. The one time I hinted at being annoyed at this yearly request they were flabbergasted, saying “I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?” This year I feel like I might snap. I’ve been racing to meet deadlines for huge clients that I’ve worked hard to get and I keep getting sidetracked with all of these family shoots (it is also happening with friends, other relatives). It’s not just the shoot- it’s deciding a location, responding to lengthy texts about what to wear, doing the editing- you guys know. It’s never “just a few pics”.
How can I deal with this?! Do I need to just suck it up and be a nicer person? I’m just burnt out af. Help.
When it comes to things like this you need to create a circle of influence around you and make decisions based on the people and well how much impact saying "no" will have on your life. Your In Laws for example you may consider that is part of a family obligation at this point and need to carve out time for it each year; but make it that you are setting the schedule "I can do it on one of these two days and can only spend X hours taking the photos" is the way you phrase it to them.
As it expands out to other family and friends it does come down to saying no to them. Friends, well you should not be doing that for free; you need to start charging them for the services you are offering them and suddenly you will find that few are asking you to do it. Make it a deal compared to what you would charge an actual client for a similar shoot but still put a price tag on it. With family you can apply the same thing but how you handle it should be based on how close you are to that family member. Your sibling you may still offer up a free shoot under time constraints where a 3rd cousin you should be charging full price.
As annoying as these folks are a large part of the problem here is you. It is not just saying "no" to people it is putting the value on your time. People are asking you to do things for free that you normally would charge for. Yes some people you should be willing to do this for but if your friendship with someone is going to be based on if you take free family photos for them; perhaps you need to find a new friend. If you have a hard time flat out telling people no, then put a price on your time and make it a business transaction. I get this is not the type of photography you most enjoy but that is a good balance and does not just deny them access to your photographic skills