Apologies if this isn’t allowed, it’s more of a rant. Just wondering how everyone deals with the whole family asking for free photos thing.
For context, I’m a professional fashion/commercial photographer so family portraits aren’t going to help my portfolio or anything. My schedule is incredibly busy year round, even more so during the holidays, and I’m also a mother of two young kids. So if I’m not in parent mode, I’m working- often until midnight, and then I’m awake around 5:30 with the kids. I know it sounds like I’m complaining and… well, I kind of am, but want to give an accurate picture of how little time I have available to be doing free photos.
So every year, my in-laws want a family session. Not just a quick snap but like a full session. And every year I do it because they’re my in-laws and I don’t want them to think badly of me. The one time I hinted at being annoyed at this yearly request they were flabbergasted, saying “I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?” This year I feel like I might snap. I’ve been racing to meet deadlines for huge clients that I’ve worked hard to get and I keep getting sidetracked with all of these family shoots (it is also happening with friends, other relatives). It’s not just the shoot- it’s deciding a location, responding to lengthy texts about what to wear, doing the editing- you guys know. It’s never “just a few pics”.
How can I deal with this?! Do I need to just suck it up and be a nicer person? I’m just burnt out af. Help.
Dear OP, I empathize. I also struggle with people-pleasing and it's hard to say no when clearly people have Expectations, and in this case it seems like those expectations were reinforced by you giving in to them for years - so it may be even more difficult to change them. Some people seem to have this idea that photography entails simply pointing the camera mindlessly and pressing a button. I know some people who used to think this way, too. This is why I took it upon myself to gently educate all my acquaintances and family about my profession. Most were curious about what I do anyway, and whenever I was asked I deliberately chose to introduce some technical aspects to fight the "just press the button" mentality. It was fun to see their mindset changing as we talked (especially the ones with more technical professions who viewed photography as art for the lazy and who suddenly discovered they have another fellow nerd to talk to), and for me personally it worked because I addressed the core problem, not the symptom. Just saying "I don't have time now" opens up the possibility that I may have some time in the future or paints me as the villain who won't help out a fellow family member/friend with "just a short photo session". But since I've started to talk to them and try to make sure they understand and respect what I do as any other profession, nobody expects me to do professional work for them for free. I take my camera with me and take candid photos at family gatherings when I feel like it, but it's not expected. If anybody wants family portraits, professional headshots, etc., the only preferential treatment they get compared to regular clients is that I will try to squeeze them into my schedule if they have a legitimate reason why they need the photos sooner than I'd normally be able to schedule them. Oh, and my strategy had another, unexpected result - now they not only understand what I do and some of my passion for photography, but many of them recommend me left and right! Anyway, I hope this helps. It's just my personal experience, but in my case most people were open to learn more about what I do and change their previous (and wildly inaccurate) ideas about what a photographer does. However, I'll say it was not easy to open up in the beginning, when I felt judged and taken advantage of. It got easier the more I saw the results though, and the more I realised it was more a case of ignorance and not them intentionally trying to get advantage of me.