Apologies if this isn’t allowed, it’s more of a rant. Just wondering how everyone deals with the whole family asking for free photos thing.
For context, I’m a professional fashion/commercial photographer so family portraits aren’t going to help my portfolio or anything. My schedule is incredibly busy year round, even more so during the holidays, and I’m also a mother of two young kids. So if I’m not in parent mode, I’m working- often until midnight, and then I’m awake around 5:30 with the kids. I know it sounds like I’m complaining and… well, I kind of am, but want to give an accurate picture of how little time I have available to be doing free photos.
So every year, my in-laws want a family session. Not just a quick snap but like a full session. And every year I do it because they’re my in-laws and I don’t want them to think badly of me. The one time I hinted at being annoyed at this yearly request they were flabbergasted, saying “I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?” This year I feel like I might snap. I’ve been racing to meet deadlines for huge clients that I’ve worked hard to get and I keep getting sidetracked with all of these family shoots (it is also happening with friends, other relatives). It’s not just the shoot- it’s deciding a location, responding to lengthy texts about what to wear, doing the editing- you guys know. It’s never “just a few pics”.
How can I deal with this?! Do I need to just suck it up and be a nicer person? I’m just burnt out af. Help.
You need to find time for your family. You are best person in the family to preserve memories. They will last the lifetimes of your in-laws, you and your kids.
My grandfather passed away recently. I was going through his BW pictures, some from 1930’s. I wished there were more of them. We looked at the family members and talked about their lives, struggles and achievements.
Having family requires sacrifices and doing things that you do not want to do all the time. But it gives their help, support and love in return. Maintaining relationships is hard work.
Just ask your in-laws for help with kids while you are editing or preparing the set. You do not have to do it all alone. Ask for help to rest and recover from stress, leave the kids with them and go on a mini vacation for a weekend.
Life is about living in harmony with your friends and family. They need your help and you need theirs. It takes a village to raise kids. Do not do it yourself. Get in-laws involved. At the end of someone’s life people seldom regret losing a client or a missed deadline but they seriously regret strained relationships and lost opportunities for human connection.