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This is from someone who has obviously never shat themselves. Underwear is already SOL, do not make the situation worse by then blasting (loud as hell) hot air all over your shit-embedded undies. The smell alone would clear the party out seconds after you open the door.
Toss underwear in the trash (tie bag if possible), strip, shower, redress commando, and do not shit yourself a second time, unless you are comfortable with wearing your birthday suit.
You obviously don't have small kids. I raised three and most of their underwear has been shit and or pissed in at some point. Some multiple times.
Big pieces go in the John. Invert and hold to the shower wall inside the shower. Turn on hot water with massage setting if available. Pressure wash as far as possibly then soap. Pressure wash again until no big stains remain. Throw into washer with anti bacterial washing solution on hot setting. Reuse as usual.
This is even worse than the hair dryer, lol. If you are in a party and want to continue staying at the party, discretion is needed. A shower can be explained away, but running a hair dryer or any type of oddly-loud setting of the shower head is going to draw attention in a hurry, especially since a bunch will directly hit the tub or shower floor, echoing in the room.
Like yeah sure, you "can" save them, but you'd end up with a doorway of peers trying to figure out wtf you are doing making a huge racket in the bathroom. And even if you managed to salvage the undies, I absolutely would not trust that I got them actually clean for the rest of the night. If you hookup with someone at the party and they start asking what that smell is as you are undressing in the bedroom, you'd definitely wish you had just trashed them.
If you go around grabbing fabric softener and detergent, you are 110% getting labeled the one who shits themselves at parties. Don't be labeled the one who shits at parties. Just trash the evidence.
And if you decide you aren't staying at the party (safe move), why the hell are walking home with shit all over you? Again just ditch the undies. It's not worth saving. The only time I would say it would be somewhat logical to save them is if you're the party host, but that's still a very risky proposition. Maybe if you trashed them until everyone leaves, then you can save it and keep your dignity. But my undies aren't lined with diamonds or gold, there's absolutely no way in my mind it'd be worth it.