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Pervert arrested for 'having sex with koi fish in neighbour's pond' (www.newsflare.com)

submitted 20 hours ago by SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.social to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

70 comments fedilink hide all child comments

GRAPHIC VIDEO: A pervert was arrested for allegedly having sex with his neighbour's koi fish.

Sex-starved Sutthichai Boonlert, 51, reportedly scooped the hapless koi fish from resident Bobby Anong's pond before using its mouth to pleasure himself.

CCTV captured the shocking sex act as the senior citizen took off his clothes and entered the water in a quiet neighbourhood in Bangkok, Thailand, on September 7.

He held a white dildo while rubbing the koi fish on his genitals before emerging from the pond. He was then seen walking to a dark corner before appearing to use the flailing animal as a makeshift sex toy.

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[–] Bob_Robertson_IX@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

The Oxford English Dictionary defines sex as “physical activity between two people in which they touch each other’s sexual organs, and which may include sexual intercourse”... seeing that the koi, despite being hapless, is not a people, and it doesn't sound like the pervert touched the koi's sexual organs, I'm going to have to say that they did not have sex.

Also, is 51 considered a senior citizen in Thailand?

[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

If you're being pedantic about it, sure, but I, for one, appreciate the euphemism given the alternative sentence "man uses koi carp as living fleshlight".

[–] Bob_Robertson_IX@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 32 minutes ago

A koi is ok, but if you want the best living fleshlight you've gotta get a rattlesnake. Just be sure you have the fangs removed first, and then use it before the next set of fangs come in, otherwise that's a VERY embarrassing trip to the ER.

[–] northernlights@lemmy.today 6 points 16 hours ago

That's a pretty bullshit definition. Without going into details because this is isn't pornhub, there are sex acts that involve only one set of genitals.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 9 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Oral sex is sex, right Mr. Clinton?

[–] eleijeep@piefed.social 9 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Depends what your definition of "is" is.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 15 hours ago

What do you mean by "Depends"?

What do you mean by "what"?

What do you mean by "your"?

What do you mean by "definition"?

What do you mean by "of"?

What do you mean by "is"?

Jordan B. Peterson crying

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Today? Not the most absurd thing a president has ever said.

At the time??? I have a hard time thinking of a more absurd thing a president could ever say. That being said.....we've fallen such a far way from sanity in the modern day.