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You need to open a creative outlet. Something like a restaurant or an art studio or a music hall or maybe a band, but you are insecure about it. Unsure if you can make it a success, you have an abnormally large fear of failure, and not because you can't afford to make the gamble, but because you don't want the stigma of being the looser who tried and failed at something so important to you. You realize that not trying at all is the greater failure and certain to happen if you allow yourself to be dominated by your fears. In the end, you realize that your fears are unfounded, and it won't hurt to fail nearly as much as never try at all.
You'll do it, and be great at it.