As a Grizzlies fan looking forward to the upcoming 2024-25 season, I have seen a couple comments right here in r/NBA that pose the question "What other team would do any better with 7 of their rotation out" and luckily for you, I am here to answer it (or at least make you think about it).
First, the context. For those of you who have been lucky enough to not catch a Grizzlies game, you may not be aware that currently, the team is playing with 6 key pieces of their rotation and Jake LaRavia out. To keep this as fair as possible, I have used the extremely reliable and smart minds at 2K games to assign each players ranking based on their overall. Now arguably, you could deem some players more "important" to the team than their in game overall may consider, but I'll be honest this took long enough as it is so I will purposely ignore those opinions.
Grizzlies Injury Report
Brandon Clarke - PF/C, no timeline for return (Achilles), 77 OVR (6th best player)
Steven Adams - C, no timeline for return (Knee), 80 OVR (5th best player)
Marcus Smart - PG/SG, 3-5 weeks (Ankle), 82 OVR (4th best player)
Luke Kennard - SG/SF, re-evaluated in 2 weeks (Knee), 75 OVR (9th best player, not counting Jaylen Nowell - who is higher for some reason - as he's on a 10 day and it doesn't fit my agenda)
Xavier Tillman - C/PF, week to week (knee), 76 OVR (7th best player)
Jake LaRavia - SF/PF, re-evaluated in 2-3 weeks (Eye), 72 OVR (15th best player)
Ja Morant - PG, fucked around and found out, 9 more games (Suspension), 92 OVR (best player)
This gives us the 10 man rotation of:
PG - Jacob Gilyard
SG - Desmond Bane
SF - Santi Aldama
PF - Jaren Jackson Jr
C - Bismack Biyombo
Bench - Derrick Rose, Ziaire Williams, David Roddy, John Konchar, Kenny Lofton Jr.
Now, if we were to apply this logic/ranking removal to every other team in the league, who would be your winner for the inaugural injury cup?
Hawks
PG - Dejounte Murray
SG - Patty Mills (TIL Patty is on the hawks)
SF - Wesley Matthews
PF - Sadiq Bey
C - Clint Capela
Bench - Bruno Fernando, Kobe Bufkin, Garrison Matthews, Mouhmad Gueye, Seth Lundy
Celtics
PG - Dalano Banton
SG - Jaylen Brown
SF - Lamar Stevens
PF - Sam Hauser
C - Kristaps Porzingis
Bench - Luke Kornet, Oshae Brissett, Nathan Knight, Neemias Queta, JD Davison
Nets
PG - Dennis Smith Jr
SG - Cam Thomas
SF - Dariq Whitehead
PF - Nic Claxton
C - Ben Simmons
Bench - Trendon Watford, Day'Ron Sharpe, Noah Clowney, Harry Giles III, Armoni Brooks
Hornets
PG - Ish Smith
SG - Terry Rozier III
SF - Gordan Hayward
PF - J.T. Thor
C - Nick Richards
Bench - Frank Ntilikina, Theo Maledon, Nick Smith Jr, James Bouknight, Amari Bailey
Bulls
PG - Jevon Carter
SG - Zach Lavine (2K really have DeRozan higher)
SF - Torrey Craig
PF - Terry Taylor
C - Nikola Vucevic
Bench - Ayo Donsunmu, Dalen Terry, Julian Phillips, Onuralp Bitim, Justin Lewis
Cavaliers
PG - Darius Garland
SG - Ricky Rubio
SF - Georges Niang
PF - Evan Mobley
C - Tristan Thompson
Bench - Georges Niang, Damian Jones, Dean Wade, Isaiah Mobley, Emoni Bates
Mavericks
PG - Kyrie Irving
SG - Tim Hardaway Jr.
SF - Josh Green
PF - Maxi Kleber
C - Richaun Holmes
Bench - Derrick Jones Jr., Olivier-Maxence Prosper, Markieff Morris, Dante Exum, Dexter Dennis
Nuggets
PG - Jamal Murray
SG - Reggie Jackson
SF - Julian Strawther
PF - Aaron Gordan
C - DeAndre Jordan
Bench - Justin Holiday, Vlatko Cancar, Hunter Tyson, Collin Gillespie, Jay Huff
Pistons
PG - Marcus Sasser
SG - Ausar Thompson
SF - Joe Harris
PF - isaiah Stewart
C - Jalen Duren
Bench - James Wiseman, Killian Hayes, Isaiah Livers, Jaren Rhoden, Malcolm Cazalon
Warriors
PG - Cory Joseph
SG - Klay Thompson
SF - Moses Moody
PF - Jonathan Kuminga
C - Draymond Green
Bench - Usman Garuba, Trayce Jackson-Davis, Brandin Podziemski, Gui Santos, Lester Quiñones
Rockets
PG - FVV
SG - Jalen Green
SF - Jae'Sean Tate
PF - Cam Whitmore
C - Jock Landale
Bench - Victor Oladipo, Reggie Bullock, Aaron Holiday, Nate Williams, Jermaine Samuels Jr.
Pacers
PG - Bruce Brown
SG - Andrew Nembhard
SF - Jordan Nwora
PF - Jalen Smith
C - Myles Turner
Bench - Isaiah Jackson, Jarace Walker, Ben Sheppard, Kendall Brown, Isaiah Wong
Clippers
PG - James Harden
SG - Terrance Mann
SF - Paul George
PF - PJ Tucker
C - Daniel Theis
Bench - Josh Primo, Brandon Boston Jr., Amir Coffey, Moussa Diabate, Jordan Miller
Lakers
PG - Austin Reaves
SG - Gabe Vincent
SF - Cam Reddish
PF - Anthony Davis
C - Jaxson Hayes
Bench - Jalen Hood-Schifino, Max Christie, Maxwell Lewis, Colin Castleton, D'Moi Hodge
Heat
PG - Tyler Herro
SG - RJ Hampton
SF - Jaime Jaquez Jr.
PF - Bam Adebayo
C - Thomas Bryant
Bench - Haywood Highsmith, Nikola Jovic, Orlando Robinson, Cole Swider, Dru Smith
Bucks
PG - Damian Lillard
SG - Pat Connaugton
SF - Khris Middleton
PF - Thanasis Antetokounmpo
C - Brook Lopez
Bench - Cam Payne, TyTy Washington, A.J. Green, Lindell Wigginton, Chris Livingston
Timberwolves
PG - Shake Milton
SG - Nickeil Alexander-Walker
SF - Troy Brown Jr.
PF - KAT
C - Rudy Gobert
Bench - Luka Garza, Wendell Moore Jr., Leonard Miller, Daishen Nix, Jaylen Clark
Pelicans
PG - CJ McCollum
SG - Jose Alvarado
SF - Brandon Ingram
PF - Jeremiah Robinson-Earl
C - Cody Zeller
Bench - Jordan Hawkins, Naji Marshall, Kira Lewis Jr., E.J Lidell, Dereon Seabron
Knicks
PG - Miles McBride
SG - Quentin Grimes
SF - R.J. Barrett
PF - Julius Randle
C - Jericho Sims
Bench - Evan Fournier, Dylan Windler, Duane Washington Jr., Ryan Arcidiacono, Charles Brown Jr.
Thunder
PG - Tre Mann
SG - Cason Wallace
SF - Jalen Williams
PF - Kenrich Williams
C - Chet Holmgren
Bench - Jaylin Williams, Aaron Wiggins, Ousmane Dieng, Davis Bertans, Keyontae Johnson
Magic
PG - Cole Anthony
SG - Gary Harris
SF - Franz Wagner
PF - Jonathan Isaac
C - Goga Bitadze
Bench - Anthony Black, Chuma Okeke, Jett Howard, Admiral Schofield, Kevon Harris
76ers
PG - Tyrese Maxey
SG - De'Anthony Melton
SF - Tobias Harris
PF - Robert Covington
C - Paul Reed
Bench - Nic Batum, Danuel House Jr., Jaden Springer, Javonte Smart, Terquavion Smith
Suns
PG - Devin Booker
SG - Bradley Beal
SF - Grayson Allen
PF - Keita Bates-Diop
C - Drew Eubanks
Bench - Chimezie Metu, Damion Lee, Yuta Watanabe, Jordan Goodwin, Saben Lee
Trail Blazers
PG - Malcolm Brogdon
SG - Scoot Henderson
SF - Shaedon Sharpe
PF - Ish Wainright
C - Moses Brown
Bench - Kris Murray, Toumani Camara, Skylar Mays, Justin Minaya, Duop Reath
Kings
PG - Davion Mitchell
SG - Malik Monk
SF - Chris Duarte
PF - Kessler Edwards
C - Domantas Sabonis
Bench - JaVale McGee, Colby Jones, Alex Len, Keon Ellis, Jordan Ford
Spurs
PG - Devonte Graham
SG - Devin Vassell
SF - Keldon Johnson
PF - Cedi Osman
C - Sandro Mamukelashvili
Bench - Doug McDermott, Blake Wesley, Sidy Cissoko, Sir'Jabari Rice, Dominick Barlow
Raptors
PG - Malachi Flynn
SG - OG Anunoby
SF - Jalen McDaniels
PF - Pascal Siakam
C - Precious Achiuwa
Bench - Christian Koloko, Otto Porter Jr., Gradey Dick, Javon Freeman-Liberty, Ron Harper Jr.
Jazz
PG - Kris Dunn
SG - Ochai Agbaji
SF - Taylor Hendricks
PF - John Collins
C - Walker Kessler
Bench - Omer Yurtseven, Keyonte George, Simone Fontecchio, Luka Samanic, Johnny Juzang
Wizards
PG - Jordan Poole
SG - Delon Wright
SF - Deni Avdija
PF - Bilal Coulibaly
C - Mike Muscala
Bench - Johnny Davis, Anthony Gill, Patrick Baldwin Jr., Eugene Omoruyi, Jared Butler
^God ^I ^hope ^the ^formatting ^worked ^on ^this
I just want to know how each team's star player fucked around and found out in this hypothetical. Did Jokic get caught cheating in a race back home and had to face punishment?
KD caught stealing Scarlett Johanssons bathwater
Shout out to Saltburn. If you know, you know.
Fucking gagged watching that and hearing the sounds
Giannis left the league to start a smoothie company.
Moriah’s iCloud hacked, Giannis takes the bell with him everywhere
Giannis got caught up in accidental money laundering from splitting his money into too many different banks
At least it wasn't from shoplifting like 15 Milky Way bars.
Overqualified to be Financial Minister of Greece
Tyrese Halliburton is under investigation by Interpol for sabotaging oil fields
Unfortunately punishment comes a bit harsher in the Equestrian leagues. bound and dragged by his winning horses if the league were to discover his fucking around ://
He fucked a horse.
Gambling on himself on a race because he didn’t think he couldn’t do it.
Caught injecting shots at his race horses
I imagine the headline would be:
#Jokic Caught with PEDs
^^^...for ^^^his ^^^horses
Jokic's horses inadvertently put him in the middle of an underground gambling ring.
Illegally manufacturing Serbian moonshine
Also selling stolen cigs
that shit actually happened, some dudes made Serbian moonshine (rakija) in their fuckin bathtubs bottled it and sold it and literally killed people from alcohol poisoning
Tatum got a fresh cut, turned out to NOT be top fye. Subsequently went on a rampage.
Tatum got suspended for clapping too hard
Tatum ran out of youth serum, and turned 20 :(
Haha checks out
Clapped around and found out
Curcuck allegations become real, and his family drama forces him to take a break.
Curcuck allegations become real, leaves the nba to pursue onlyfans full time
Luka ruptured an aneurysm complaining about the refs
Luka gets caught reposting Hamas videos from the team account, having assumed everyone would blame Kyrie.