this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
300 points (97.5% liked)

Not The Onion

12295 readers
1483 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 19 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Wet, I can understand. But cold?

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ever driven 45 minutes home after bottoming? It get pretty cold before you get to a shower

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Things I never realized being a straight man

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Let me help every woman you'll sleep with going forward, then. Don't just jizz on the bed when you pull out. It also gets cold, but now it's where you need to sleep. Lol.

Also don't get it in their hair, it's a bitch to get out if it dries. Invest in a daily glass of pineapple juice, though, and you probably won't have to worry about it where to end. They won't mind swallowing so much

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Lmao. I'm an old man with a kid and a committed GF. We always have something to take care of it. But thanks for the PSA.

[–] 01011@monero.town 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why would you not just shower afterwards?

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 weeks ago

Not always an option. What if you've just been fucked in a field? There's no shower. Or more likely, the handicap stall at a Walmart halfway between your houses because neither of you can host, and you live 2 hours apart

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 weeks ago

It is pretty close to where the sun doesn't shine.

[–] kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

maybe it's a windy day