this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 122 points 10 months ago (5 children)

I'm not a 12 yo boy, I'm not a 12 yo boy, I'm not a 12 yo boy

[–] HexesofVexes@lemmy.world 43 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Don't worry, the scientific community is working on getting it renamed to solve exactly this problem.

It's going to be called "urectum".

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm a genuine proponent of renaming Uranus to "Caelus." It's the only planet (save earth) not named for a Roman god. It's named for a Greek god, and completely breaks the naming convention. Funny word play aside, I'd like to see it renamed Caelus.

[–] colderr@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Caelus would fit perfectly in our solar system.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Right? Such a cool name! I also would not mind if they renamed earth to Terra, though, to keep the trend. But if we keep Uranus, we should make earth Gaia, so Uranus won't be so lonely as the only Greek in the solar system.

I may, may, be anthropomorphizing our planets a bit

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I mean since it's 71% covered in water, how about Poseidia?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How does one select the ending of the word, like how would one know to choose Poseidia instead of Poseidus?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The best formula for solutions haha. Here I thought you knew some magic space nomenclature guidelines.

[–] Kraven_the_Hunter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 10 months ago

Hey don't talk about Uranus like that.

Uranus is good enough, smart enough, and goshdarnit, people like Uranus.

[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Rectum? Damn near killed em!

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 16 points 10 months ago

Relax friend. You are safe. That was a long time ago and Father McCoy is not around anymore.

[–] Iamsqueegee@sh.itjust.works 14 points 10 months ago

pfft BWA-HAHAHAHHHAA

[–] return2ozma@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] Contort3860@links.hackliberty.org 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

None of us are (hopefully). Doesn't make the joke any less funny to our 12 year old senses of humour.

[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world -1 points 10 months ago

eh. As no mer s: H-eh. As-stro-no-me-r-s.

Am I doing it right?

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it just got a kiss from Neptune

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 10 months ago

Is that the Roman version of Poseidon’s kiss?

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 19 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Wet, I can understand. But cold?

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ever driven 45 minutes home after bottoming? It get pretty cold before you get to a shower

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Things I never realized being a straight man

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Let me help every woman you'll sleep with going forward, then. Don't just jizz on the bed when you pull out. It also gets cold, but now it's where you need to sleep. Lol.

Also don't get it in their hair, it's a bitch to get out if it dries. Invest in a daily glass of pineapple juice, though, and you probably won't have to worry about it where to end. They won't mind swallowing so much

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Lmao. I'm an old man with a kid and a committed GF. We always have something to take care of it. But thanks for the PSA.

[–] 01011@monero.town 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Why would you not just shower afterwards?

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 1 points 10 months ago

Not always an option. What if you've just been fucked in a field? There's no shower. Or more likely, the handicap stall at a Walmart halfway between your houses because neither of you can host, and you live 2 hours apart

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 11 points 10 months ago

It is pretty close to where the sun doesn't shine.

[–] kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 5 points 10 months ago

maybe it's a windy day

[–] Biggles@lemmy.myserv.one 13 points 10 months ago

Shouldn't they be looking at the night sky, though?

[–] ben_dover@lemmy.ml 13 points 10 months ago

not my anus

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

And that’s to say nothing of Uranus’ moons, of which there are nearly 30.

Damn. Surprised that many can last that long and not destroy each other.

[–] MumboJumbo@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

The gas Giants are huge, like really really huge. Jupiter and Saturn have more than that. The rings from Saturn are probably from moons, but not necessarily colliding, but getting close enough to the planet to reach the Roche Limit.

[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

These moons will destroy uranus

[–] portuga@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Nah that’s my wife, carry on

[–] UnspokenIdiot@lemmy.wtf 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

thats very poor choice of words

[–] Kbobabob@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

thats very ~~poor~~ excellent choice of words

They knew what they were doing

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

!theyknew@lemmy.world

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

there was a poll among astronomers whether they should rename uranus, and they almost unanimously decided to keep it that way because it got funding just due to giggles.

[–] fluxx@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

In Futurama, they renamed it to Urectum :)

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

Yeah, I felt it

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

get it? because it sounds like your anus pfhdtfht