this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
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[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

It is weird and unhealthy full stop. Porn normalizes all kinds of bullshit and this is no different. Giving your partner brain damage is not sexy, it is stupid.

[–] blackstampede@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 minute ago

I've choked a lot of partners, and many of the women who have asked me to do it were middle aged women with kids who didn't watch porn at all. They like the power dynamic, the feeling of being controlled, the (somewhat) restricted breathing, and the impression that their partner (me) is strong and dominant. Most of the time, I'm not even really choking them- I generally hook my hand under her jaw, lock my fingers in a c-shape, and press up, rather than in. It looks and sort of feels like you're being choked, but isn't.

I've done consensual non-consent, I've whipped, flogged, and paddled women, I've pushed them into walls and dragged them to the bed by their hair. I've slapped them in the face, breasts, and groin. All because I was asked. It is often an incredible, intense, and pleasurable experience for the women I'm with. And because I find their pleasure arousing and deeply satisfying, it's pleasurable and intense for me.

Very few of them watched a lot of porn, and when they did, it was often the elegant and romantic sort of videos, rather than the brutal BDSM that you're imagining.

You're judging people for their sexual proclivities and suggesting that they've been brainwashed by porn, but you very clearly don't understand the people you're looking down on.