this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
681 points (97.5% liked)
Funny
14176 readers
898 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
What's the male alternative? Trying on shirts in the wrong size?
Go to the grocery store and keep staring at the scented soaps
Ok, now what.
Buy one and take a shower
The supermarket doesn't have any showers to take though
Gardening section
You'd have better luck at the hardware store: stronger soaps, more shower selection, and really effective scouring pads.
Depends. Did you remember your wad of hundreds and pack of Magnum condoms?
Ask for assistance. It's a great conversation starter.
Keep starin
Now they still don't want to talk to you
Pro-Tip: Until they recently dropped the misleading product, "Unscented" Dove soap had perfume in it. Sensitive Skin Dove soap does not.
Thanks for the ad.
Devilishly clever!
There isn't one. When that stuff about "they chose the bear" happened, they meant it.
You have to be vetted and have an in, give their dog bacon. Volunteer.
RIP women, but tbh what did they expect when they chose the bear
I mean, they're not exactly wrong, the odds of getting raped on an evening walk are drastically higher than a bear screwing with them.
Being a guy, I think the odds are still relatively low, but also being a guy, I don't have any say in how they feel about things nor their experience to understand.
A random bear is a lot more likely to maul you to shit than a random dude is to rape you lol. It's a horrible choice but I respect it (rip)
I get the feeling you're not acquainted with wild bears.
Unless they feel threatened (especially with cubs) they generally DGAF.
Almost 1 in 2.1 Million Chances of Being Attacked by a Bear. (National Park Service)
This is about being with a bear vs a dude though. That stat is for randomly getting attacked...
This was the sauce
https://people.com/would-you-rather-be-in-woods-with-bear-or-man-tiktok-8644184
be in the woods with a bear or a man
The Parks Service is reporting on bear attacks in the woods.
While true it's not man attacks in the woods, it's close enough to at least understand it.
I think it really depends on the bear. Polar or grizzly, and you're in trouble.
I usually have a woman initiate conversation with me in line at the grocery store every 3-4 trips just by minding my own business. IDK if they mean anything by it or how to turn that into a date but it is something that happens.