this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I keep seeing posts mentioning this phenomenon more and more often.

For instance:

More and more men are being sucked into parts of the internet that circulate misogynist content, leaving their families to deal with the wreckage

'Andrew Tate phenomena' surges in schools - with boys refusing to talk to female teacher

Like, why? Why now? Why even? I really wish I had a time machine where I could go to the future and ask them what the general reasons were for this social development. But I feel like I'm looking for the specific thorn on a cactus that popped my balloon.

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[–] Opinionhaver@feddit.uk 54 points 16 hours ago (5 children)

Young men are struggling badly, and almost no one seems to take it seriously. A lot of them want to man up - but the message they get from much of the media is to man down. I saw a Reddit thread asking who young boys could look up to as a role model, and the top answer was Aragorn. You literally have to turn to fictional characters to find someone broadly seen as decent.

They gravitate toward people like Andrew Tate (and Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Jocko Willink, David Goggins, etc.) because those are some of the only public voices telling them it’s okay to be a man - and to embrace masculine traits - without apology.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 5 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Actual answer is too far down.

Also innocent boys doing nothing wrong being told they are the cause of all the problems in the world while they struggle and see everyone else get help they are excluded from.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 27 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Nick Offerman is right there!

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, the problem is that Nick Offerman is too wholesome. Young guys are horny. They need role models who are also horny. But the message that is sent is "it is good to be a man, but only once you are 40 with a pot belly and a wife and kids and no sex drive." Or "it is okay to be a man, but if you want to be horny, you have to be gay". Or "it is okay to be a horny straight man, but only if you are so dumb and mockable as to be harmless."

Show me the man, fictional or not, who is straight, sexual, and not constantly the butt of the joke. Show me an example of where a man wanting to have sex for the sake of having sex - not to get a girlfriend or live happily ever after - is framed as a legitimate goal which should be supported by the people around him, and which is not seen as a farce.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Show me the man, fictional or not, who is straight, sexual, and not constantly the butt of the joke.

That is literally Nick Offerman. Not his character from Parks and Rec, but him personally and especially his stand up act.

Show me an example of where a man wanting to have sex for the sake of having sex - not to get a girlfriend or live happily ever after - is framed as a legitimate goal which should be supported by the people around him, and which is not seen as a farce.

Rock stars.

[–] Nyticus@kbin.melroy.org 4 points 13 hours ago

To add to that, men were also turned to anime male figures like Kenshiro from the Fist of North Star as a key example that it is okay for men to cry. When for a long ass time, it was frowned upon for men to cry or show emotion.

[–] co_bymusic@lemm.ee 1 points 12 hours ago

There are enough voices and role models, there are books on how bad men have it, there are podcasts (Diary of the CEO) and philosophers talking about it. I stumble upon the topic at least every week. For example there is a great video of Mathew Hussey on the dating crisis and how troublesome it is for men. He is a dating coach for women and still making good content for men. It doesn't seem to reach those who need it most, though. Could be trough algorithms, could be because they choose the hateful content with the "easy" solution (women are bad and need to be treated so) over the complex truth... That men had a privileged life for the last few hundred years, and now that women earn their own money they probably need to offer more than finance. By the way it is crazy how the world developed. Every household basically needs to double earn to survive so.. yes. Financing is not the thing most women are looking for anymore and men are not even being able to give it. There are political and social problems we all have to fight (together we could even do it but it is easier if we fight each other for those in power). Men suffer from patriarchy the same as women do. The difference is that now the privilege is gone and the gameplay changed, while some wealthy and reckless men pretend that it's about "them not trying hard enough". It's like people in America still believing they could become a millionaire if they try hard enough and trump is a "financial genius" for being rich... Instead of just being a lucky son of a rich man. It seems to be a tradition to step down on others instead of facing the truth... Some wealthy idiots are ruining our world for all of us. Instead of feeling helpless about this fact it's "the immigrants", "the feminists", or what else...