this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
551 points (95.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

32096 readers
2008 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I've been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just "get over it". I've lost almost everyone I'm close to because of this and I'm starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it's unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Counseling. Please. Quickly.

https://988lifeline.org/

Call or text 988 for help with suicidal thoughts

Do not try to "gut" through things alone

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Weekly. Last session was yesterday.

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Good for you. Keep at it, and don't just think all counselors are the same. If yours is not working for you, just change. No real counselor will be upset if you do.

They will never suggest change themselves

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This is the fourth counselor I have had in my life and this guy is by far the best one. I was recommended him by a coworker whom I respect very much.

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Medicine helps too. I'm on Bupropion now, after having suicidal thoughts on Lexapro.

It's been good for me; it has completely eliminated the ideations, even though things in life have actually gotten worse.

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I am on lexapro for 5 years and honestly i didn't think about swapping stuff. Maybe i should ask about adding welbutrin.

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Dude. Coming off Lexapro SUCKS, but I'm glad i did.

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That's why im afraid to do so. 5 years taking it. I feel really good on it though, but maybe the effect has faded and I cant even tell. But when i got on it i felt so good.

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago

Hey, if it's working don't change it

[–] LuigiMaoFrance@lemmy.ml 0 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

If you still have a decent hairline be aware that Bupropion is the antidepressant with the strongest association with hair loss according to a meta analysis from ~5 years ago. I know it nuked my hairline after just 3-4 months of being on it.

And to reply to your original topic, yeah, women receive way more support post-breakup in my experience, while men are expected to just suck it up. As a male you're treated as disposable whose worth is based on what he can offer others, while women are inherently valued for being female.

It is what it is.