this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I've been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just "get over it". I've lost almost everyone I'm close to because of this and I'm starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it's unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

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[โ€“] Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm three years out of being divorced after 15 years of marriage.

It, yeah, um... yeah, dude. I got the same treatment. People's immediate family and lives all take precedent.

I basically took gasoline and a match to my life predating 2022 and went scorched earth in retaliation. Now I'm mostly family, or fuck off while I keep my head in books and hobbies.

People imo are the ultimate letdown, held up by the idea that humanity means something. It doesn't. Pet a cat.

[โ€“] futatorius@lemm.ee 6 points 4 days ago

In my case, it was different. When I first got married in my mid-20s, I moved to a different country and lost touch with most of my friends. When I got divorced at 31, suddenly all these women started dropping by to visit and hook up. Before I was married, they hadn't shown all that much interest in me. What had changed was that I had made the transition from a constantly broke musician and student to having a well-paying job, owning a flat in a good part of London and traveling a lot. So I was somewhat cynical about the sudden interest. One of the songs I'd play on my guitar and sing when they'd visit was the old Bessie Smith tune, Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out.

I ended up meeting and marrying someone I met outside my old social circle, who was as uninterested in money as I was, and who knew I was no meal ticket. We're still married over 3 decades later (and are moderately well off, despite always having followed our interests rather than chasing money).