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You sound very young so I'll answer as if I was talking to my younger self,who was in the same situation (multiple times.) The answer to your question is simply "time." How much time is in large part up to you. My advice is to cut contact with this person, or at the worst, keep contact extremely minimal (if possible.) Probably best to just forget about him, really. Next, take a few months and just chill. Play some video games or watch movies. Reach out to some friends you haven't seen in a while. Or reach out to friends you see a lot. Get exercise. Just kick back and kinda exist for a while. Then think about getting back into the dating game. Maybe see if there's someone single you see often that interests you. Or do phone app dating or whatever.
My point is you're literally going to be fine and there is no reason to believe otherwise. Later in life you literally will not give a single fucking shit about this person or this time in your life. It will be a distant memory. And it will also serve as a learning experience for you, to take to future relationships. Experience like this is HUGE. Most people date multiple people seriously before finding their spouse or long term partner. All those people dealt with the same thing you are.
Hey, yeah im going to be turning 22 in august. I hate always feeling in pain, the heavy heart. I only have known him since the end of november but it felt like i had known in for AGES. this is whats hurting me so much. i was able to pour so much and open up about so much of my darkest and most vulnerable things that I never share with anyone. i dont have much friends, i mean i have 2 friends but idk ;| there is one guy who wants to see me and go out for hiking and stuff but i feel guilty, i am also scared that It will make me miss him more. but i need a distraction but im scared of a rebound happening.
Everything you're describing is completely normal. Please believe me when I say that I was put through HELL with past relationships in my youth. 2 of the girls cheated on me, one of which I was absolutely madly in love with. One relationship was just absolutely toxic in every way. But you know what? I don't regret the relationships at all because they tought me valuable lessons that I still use in my current relationship. I'm married now and I love my wife. It's a great marriage. Things turned out fine. You're gonna be totally fine! Just get out there and try to meet new people. Do whatever you can to meet new friends and potential partners. You're gonna be totally fine.
Make sure you give yourself the opportunity to move on though. If you're not ready for a rebound then DON'T date right now. That's why I suggested taking at least a few months to be single. After my last relationship peior to my current one, I took 6-8 months off from dating. It was the best decision I ever made. I had to do a lot of self improvement and personal growth before I was ready to date again. I had to take care of my mental health. I had to take care of ME.
Make an effort to see the 2 friends you mentioned. Join some clubs maybe. Just do whatever you can to improve the situation. You're so young! Enjoy yourself. Really, if there was one piece of advice I could give my younger self, it boils down to "you're young. Stfu and enjoy your youth. Relationships at your age aren't the most important thing. Self development and experiences are way more important."
Yeah you’re right. I know being in pain for this is normal and it will be okay. I just hate the process :/ I miss him a lot but I also know that’s normal.. it saddens me how much I tried to make things work for all my efforts to be overlooked and unappreciated. I’m sorry u got cheated on :( and I’m happy you are in a happy marriage with someone good for you 🤍I’m not looking for a new person to date but I just feel bad seeing another guy, even as just friends. I feel like I’m cheating. I know it sounds dumb but I just have this annoying guilty conscience… I’m scared. Last relationship I had was basically 3 years but after that I got so broken and I had sexual relationships with people and just found comfort and wantedness in sex. It made me numbed out. I don’t want it to happen again and I don’t think it will but I am craving physical intimacy as well. I sound like a hoe or something but idk. I also don’t want to use anyone for comfort or to dump my emotions on. I’m seeing my best friend tomorrow but idk, I don’t feel that emotionally connected with them like how I did with him obviously.
You're obviously not cheating considering you're not in a relationship with your ex. I think you know that you're not. I will repeat though - take time to be single. You'll know when you're ready to date because you won't feel guilt or shame. You'll just be ready.
It makes for funny stories tbh. My wife 's friends think my crazy ex-gf stories are ridiculous. They're not just straight forward cheating stories. They have twists and turns.
No you don't. That's a pretty normal thing people do. I did that too. I had my sleeping around phase. I'm not gonna tell young people not to have lots of sex. I think that's something that can be fun when you're young, if it's done respectfully and safely. I guess older people can do it too but it's probably not as fun lol.
Yeah, I mean I know I’m not but my brain wants me to think that I am. And thanks for not being judgemental.