Kid has a penis and is 1wk old. I feel like the day to day right now is just making sure he's not sitting in his own piss/shit and feeding him until he passes out every 2-3 hrs. He's 1wk old so I don't know when I'm supposed to start stimulating him, but there's very little awake time that isn't either "I'm sitting in my own peepoo"..."my ping pong sized stomach is empty"...or just crying for whatever reason other than the first two. It seems every time he feeds, he conks out until the next feeding/diaper change so I take great pride in creating a tit milk drunk baby that passes tfo (pumping only *will explain below). We put him on his stomach to piss him off and develop some neck/back muscles every now and then when he's not full of my wife's liquid gold. I sing to him (I'm a vocalist/amateur musician sort of) when I'm doing the war crime of changing or swaddling (I roll tight burritos) but that's about it. Mild case of jaundice but rebounded hard after we started pumping/bottle feeding. Most likely related to not getting enough food. See *
I come from a moderately high performing family (doctors/stem professionals and such) so theres a lot of pressure to make sure this kid isnt a dipshit. I'm playing all kinds of music while he sleeps (doesn't seem to be affected by noise while sleeping) but I can't teach the kid math until he at least understands object permanence right? I also feel like all that classical music Montessori stuff isbcomplete horseshit and I'm much more concerned with just making sure the kid is a good person but I also want onto pull the right levers and flip the right switches where I can.
The bottom line is: Am I doing it wrong or is this it for a while until he can stay awake while changed and fed? Is it normal? I feel like I'm just drugging a child to sleep. Looking for any input. Thanks.
Also, if there's any words of wisdom for my anxious wife (see *) that would be helpful. She's struggling with the whole breast feeding issue even though she's creating a massive surplus at day 7 and we've only supplemented with formula for 3 feeds total. I'm super proud of her for pushing through cracked sensitive nips and I'm stoked that this kid is getting anything natural but she feels like a failure for not direct feeding which i guess i understand is "ideal" but shes killing it pumping. My reassurances don't seem to comfort her unfortunately
*Kid falls asleep 1min after he latches without fail and my wife is super anxious about not breast feeding but she pumps out a surplus of milk. He wasnt getting enough sustenance after birth but he's ravenous on the bottle. 2-4 oz every feed maybe 2.50z average.
Edit: my biggest gripe is that I'm killing 24/7 and this kid has literally no sense of humor. I was hoping for paternal instinct but all I got was killer dad jokes.
Forewarnig of "every kid is different", so ymmv.
One of my kids would fall asleep while nursing as well but keep sucking in his sleep! But hey you found what works for you (see forewarnig).
For the first 2 weeks (at least) yeah that's all they do: eat, sleep, fill diapers. However it's never too early to have some cuddle/play time. Gentle caresses all over, like a light massage, especially after bath time with some oil maybe. Singing (or even just talking to them) is great as you'll soon start to see them reacting to your voice.
As you'll surely know their eyesight is not great at the beginning, but you will notice when they get more alert of their surrounding.
Skin to skin contact also is a great way to make them happy.
Apart for that, it's way too soon to start worrying about "let's not make a dick of this human".
I recommend a book called "wonder weeks", and once you have recovered from sleep deprivation, "raising boys". BUT EVERY KID IS DIFFERENT, so don't take them as the absolute truth, more like guidelines and food for thought.
Maybe get him some sensory toys, it's a great way for them to start learning to explore stuff.
And finally, remember that kids learn by copying what they see. A lot of kids grow messed up because unfortunately they come from messed up situations.
He WILL make you mad and angry. Remember that anger is a secondary emotion, you need to be able to breathe and recognize what you're angry at. And you can tell them, and also that you need a minute to calm down. If they see you dealing with strong emotions in a healthy way they'll learn too (but also they WILL make you made on purpose as they learn boundaries by pushing them. Yes, they are little sociopaths).
There's ton more stuff of course but the fact that you care and you're concerned is already a good step. We all mess up in some way, but being able to put your ego aside and say sorry to them is a big thing. Don't feel like you should always know the answers, we all make it up as we go!
Congratulations and good luck!
I signed away my right to shake'em unfortunately. I just channel it all into making 3am digeridoo noises
Also because death by shaken baby syndrome is unfortunately a very common thing