this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2025
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Every time I see that little red number in my inbox, my first thought is: Did I mess up? My brain jumps to the worst-case scenario—maybe I said something controversial, and now everyone’s correcting me and downvoting my stupid comments. Even though, most of the time, the messages are actually helpful and fun, that number still triggers some sort of insecurity and anxiety. The bigger it gets, the louder my worries grow.

Logically, I know I don’t screw up that often, and most feedback is neutral or even positive. But deep down, my insecure monkey brain panics at the thought of being wrong—or worse, publicly called out. Even when I’m right, the number still makes my stress levels spike up. What if people disagree with me? What if they don’t like what I wrote?

And yes, I see the irony in posting this. Writing about it is basically asking for it and feeding the very anxiety I’m trying to ignore. Maybe it’s my version of exposure therapy.

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[–] beerclue@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I do, and not only on Lemmy, but also Whatsapp, Teams, email etc. It's the fear of screwing up and/or missing out, and a wave of anxiety combs over me when I see a number >0. I've been talking with my therapist about it, there are reasons and methods to overcome this...

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Same here - any notification, for anything, my immediate assumption is that it's someone who (rightly or wrongly) is angry with me or has bad news, or whatever. It's fucking exhausting.

Same thing when your boss calls.

[tele tubbies ring tone]

Gulp. The whole office must be on fire and it's all my fault, isn't it.

[answers the phone]

Oh ok. Lunch at 11.30. Sure, no problem. See you there. Bye.

Phew.

[–] beerclue@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago
[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Teams is hell, on a job we had all teams having their channels (so like 30?) and you were "supposed to follow them" but they churned out hundreds and hundreds of messages every week, add your own channel and emails and gasp your work... So productive.

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wow! Anything above zero? That must be agonizing. At work, I get lots of Teams messages, but I don’t find that so crippling. It’s just social media stuff like Lemmy where I have such mixed feelings about the numbers.

Oh, and sorry for the reply. Hope you can handle it. Here, have some flowers to cheer you up. 💐

[–] beerclue@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Haha, thanks :)

Well, I don't use any social media (besides Lemmy), so that helps :) There are a couple of Whatsapp group chats where I rarely participate, but I muted those, so I don't get any alerts.

Oh WhatApp group chats? I can still remember the time when I had those. What an awful waste of time. Don't miss those bad old days at all.