this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2025
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When I was an alcoholic, I wanted to keep my best friend from ruining his marriage by having an affair, so I tried to murder him with a gun. Pretty sure I would've gone about it differently had I been sober.
There needs to be more context to this story.
We were working together in a different state; he kept talking about this girl we worked with; we got drunk at her place- some of us (me) drunker than others; he gave me a ride back to the house we were renting and then went back to the party; I was convinced he was gonna sleep with the girl, and was infuriated he'd do that to his lovely wife and their daughter; I got my pistol and was gonna shoot him when he got home; I was too drunk to chamber a round; our other roommate was there and wrestled the gun away from me.
It's an insane bit of logic. "In order to keep you from ruining your marriage, I'm going to kill you."
His wife ended up sleeping with her boss a few years later, too, so. 🤷♂️
"I can't let you ruin your life, so I will ruin both of us for you, buddy!"
Exactly, lol. That's noble, right?
Whoever said chivalry is dead never heard this story.
I just woke up so I can't formulate it, but there's some joke about chivalry having an extramarital affair in my presence.
😂 you'll get there buddy. Let me know when it forms properly.
How about "How'd you know my roommate's name??"
That's close enough for me.
Bud, if you're happy, I'm happy.
I don't know if I can ever truly be happy again. Not without a lobotomy.
I've heard that lobotomy patients only seem happy, and may be trapped in a private hell.
Least now things in your life seem bleak and immutable, but you've still got the ability to change things around you and yourself.
Depression is tough, and I'm sorry I can't do more than say:
Shit. Maybe I've already had a lobotomy then because that sounds familiar, lol. Maybe I should hope for Down syndrome instead.
I appreciate the sentiment though.
If you don't cheat on them they cheat on you
Sorry to break it to you, but you're gay.
Trust me, been there and it wasn't for me.
I think in terms of thought process, we probably have all the context available…
"You think I'm going to just let you ruin your marriage? You're my best friend. I'll kill you you stupid bastard."
Men, don't settle for a best friend who won't threaten to kill you.
Also maybe make sure there's a second friend nearby at all times.
That’s it… That’s all the context there is…
I posted the full story in another comment, but that is the jist of it
Gosh, that's... a lot.
I finally read the entirety of your comment, as I had wrongly assumed you had just quoted me the whole time (might wanna check your markup btw)
But yes, I've been sober for 7 years now. We maintain a loose friendship, like stereotypical men do with one another; he did not sleep with the girl, but his wife did sleep with her boss a few years after this whole kerfuffle. Is that irony?
A lot of whiskey and rum, lol
No but seriously, yeah. It was pretty stupid.
It was about the goal, not the how.
"I'll keep you from ruining your marriage by ending your life." Seemed pretty solid at the time.
Probably would have had better aim and saved his marriage!
She slept with her boss a couple years later. Guess you can't win em all.
Wow. I did many crazy things while active alcoholic, but murder was not one of them
Yeah I had some issues I guess. Though, to be fair, I also never murdered anyone.