this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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I bet this sounds like a stupid question - especially coming from a man. However, NoStupidQuestions doesn’t allow NSFW topics, so here I am - bear with me.

I genuinely don’t know what this feels like from the inside. I see so many men go to extreme lengths to chase women - sometimes even risking their careers or relationships just to get laid. Some are literally willing to pay for it. I don’t get it. What does that pull actually feel like?

I’m not judging - I’m trying to understand. I only know what it looks like from the outside, but I have no idea what it’s like on the inside. I’ve had sex multiple times, and it’s fine, but it seems vastly overrated to me. Clearly, I’m not getting out of it what most other men are, so I’m trying to understand the baseline experience.

My motivation for asking is that I’m working on myself and hoping that, eventually, I’ll be able to feel even a fraction of that same pull. However, with things like lifting weights, I at least have a clear image in mind of what I’m working toward - but it’s harder to define that when it comes to subjective experiences.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

oh man the I need to look at the person and not stare there but also not avoid staring there. I always fail and pretty much end up moving from looking at the forehead and sorta above each shoulder. The really annoying thing is I know the woman can totally tell im trying to keep my gaze of them.

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ugh, same. Back when I was married both in spirit and law, there was a nice, well-endowed bartender at my local. I had no designs on anything at all, wanted to just have regular ol' barfly-bartender platonic chatter. Here was my inner monologue:

Don't stare at her boobs, don't stare at her boobs, oh god I'm looking at her boobs, look UP you fucking creep she doesn't need that shit; ok, maybe just identify all the liquor bottles behind her - THAT'S A FUCKING BOOB KNOCK IT OFF - k, Wisers, Captain Morgan's, some coffee liqueur - wait, she said something. What did she say? Oh shit, she's got the customer service scowl on and has covered herself. Congrats, Cracks, you are now officially one of the creepy guys, no better than the alkie dude who asks for hugs. God damn it - go play some pinball and go home.

Stupid lizard brain. Doesn't happen all the time with every woman (thank fuck, that would be paralyzing), but awkward as fuck for everyone involved when it does.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Thing about tip jobs is that woman are much more likely to wear something low cut or whatnot. Work at least is almost the opposite were it was more a random choice made a particular day. Although that might make it worse like over time if the bartender is always wearing low cut things you might get used to it enough to ignore it. LOL. case in point dolly parton is on the telly atm and she is so recognizable I don't feel I stare at her cleavage.