this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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First question: how would you handle situations where you show interest in someone by writing a thoughtful blurb (maybe even witty), and they liked it enough to match with you, but not actually respond?

Second question: for those people out there who have someone show interest in you by writing a thoughtful blurb (maybe even witty), why would you not at least also say hi or some other basic acknowledgment? What is the expectation?

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[โ€“] Lemming6969@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Do not have substantial discussions on an app. Move towards a first date immediately and if they don't respond they weren't real anyway. There are a few types on these things, bots, ego matches, scared or ego chatters, real daters... Real daters understand a match means a date in the real world and will actively engage in making that happen... Everything else is just noise to throw away.

[โ€“] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Bingo! Ask for that first date ASAP. If you fuck around they'll think you're playing, they'll get bored, find another match, get another date, whatever. Also, the longer you chat the more opportunity there is for misunderstanding. I would not have got this date if this was a chat and not phone call:

"LOL, I'm kind of a redneck."

"Uh..., just how redneck."

"I fucking loathe Trump if that's what you're asking."

"Oh! Whew! OK, had to check."

See how that first line would have been awful in a chat? Without body language and voice tone you're only getting 7% communication.

If you're a man seeking a woman, women like decisive men. No, that does not mean ordering them around, being pushy or making unilateral decisions. Don't be wishy washy. Ask, present plan, await answer saying nothing more.

"Want to go out Friday? Gallery Night is on downtown!"

Pick a place that's very public, fun and you can talk easily. Does not have to involve food or drink, but those should be available. Find an activity where either one of you can make your excuses and leave if it's not working out.

I should write a book on this shit. OK, more like a large pamphlet. Infographic?