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I have shared that frustration, trying to find that balance.
I try to get some basic wisdom through to them to help prevent something horrible happening later, but I don't want to cause them pain now, either.
I have taken to asking them to take my hand in theirs, when I think they aren't listening.
The younger kid appreciates the connection. The older kid practices their active listening skills to make me leave them alone sooner.
Ha. I'll try that, thanks!