this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2026
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I want to see a Jurassic Park movie where it's just geese and swans breaking out of captivity, and mildly annoying everyone.
You’ve never met a swan, have you?
“Mild annoyance” are the seagulls stealing your food.
(Yes, that swan dunked the seagull so it couldn’t fly away.)
Swans don’t steal food. You give it to them hoping they don’t murder you.
Weirdly, the notion that swans are particularly aggressive is one I learnt on the English-speaking part of the internet (so I instantly assume it's an USianism). Any references to swan behaviour that I can find in German talk about how they're associated with calm and serenity.
That's because the Germans have enough sense and morals to leave them alone :)
They are calm... by German standards.
I've hung out with swans heaps in Australia and they've been almost entirely chill bros who will take food if offered but won't harass you for it. I wonder if different species have different demeanours, like how Canada geese are known for being especially aggressive.
i have to wonder if americans uh, get them confused with geese.. Because geese can absolutely have a tendency to actively harass you, while swans don't get close enough to interact with us in the first place.
Unless american swans are just suffering from lead poisoning like the general population?
Don't know, I've seen swans being total assholes in Finland, in Estonia, in Czechia, so maybe in Germany around Baltic shore they are also not seen as calm
There are a lot of animals that are seen completely not how they are, based on vibes, like wise owls, or cunning snakes, etc
I think it's funny how people go on about majestic horses. They're not majestic, they are uncoordinated panicky idiots.
My aunt has a horse and I've seen him run into a tree, there's one single tree in his paddock and it's a giant oak, and he's run into it at least three times. He panics if he can't see his friend, often because his friend is behind him, and then runs madly around until he crashes into something, or stumbles into the pond.
This is the horse and had a panic attack because the farmer had bought a new wheelbarrow and it looked different to the one he was used to.
In my experience it's more of a specifically British phobia. They have these sayings about swans breaking arms...
I like the title of the seagull video, that's very on point
"Remain perfectly still, their vision is based on movement."
"Nah, fuck this bird." Kicks swan to the moon
Boy have I got the video game for you: Untitled Goose Game
I want to see a Jurassic Park movie where it's just realistic velociraptors breaking out of captivity and are just mildly annoying. Then the main character gets stomped on by a brachiosaurus.
Hot Fuzz. But with a swan.
I actually made an AI video of exactly what you just described.