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What to do with 4yo when we put down the cat? (fedia.io)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Maestro@fedia.io to c/parenting@lemmy.world

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I have a 14 year old Maine Coon that is terminally ill and has a few weeks at best. Our son recently turned 4 years old and loves animals. We taught him to be kind to all animals, even bugs. He is not particularly attached to the cat, but he likes it well enough (the cat is not a cuddler).

In a few weeks we'll have to go to the vet and have the cat put down. We're wondering how we should approach this with our son. Do we take him with us? Do we let him be present when the cat is put to sleep? Or make him stay in the waiting area? Or do we go when he's in school? What's appropriate for a 4 year old?

On the one hand I think that death is a part of life. And I don't mind that he sees us crying over the cat. But I also don't want to traumatize him or make it bigger than it is.

Any tips?

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[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm sorry about your cat. I would suggest scheduling it while your son's at school, and talking to him in plain language to explain what happened. Don't say that the cat is now living at a farm or other euphemisms, but instead be as clear as you can be to explain that the cat's body stopped working and that the cat's not coming home. Explain that that's what happens to all living things when they get old and/or really really sick.

There is a book, Little Cat, Big Cat which you could get from the library to read to your son, but it's very emotional and when I read it after our cat died, made me cry during story time.

[–] Maestro@fedia.io 4 points 3 weeks ago

Ohh, that book is a great suggestion! I'm going to look for it in our library.