this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2026
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What to do with 4yo when we put down the cat? (fedia.io)
submitted 3 weeks ago by Maestro@fedia.io to c/parenting@lemmy.world
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I have a 14 year old Maine Coon that is terminally ill and has a few weeks at best. Our son recently turned 4 years old and loves animals. We taught him to be kind to all animals, even bugs. He is not particularly attached to the cat, but he likes it well enough (the cat is not a cuddler).

In a few weeks we'll have to go to the vet and have the cat put down. We're wondering how we should approach this with our son. Do we take him with us? Do we let him be present when the cat is put to sleep? Or make him stay in the waiting area? Or do we go when he's in school? What's appropriate for a 4 year old?

On the one hand I think that death is a part of life. And I don't mind that he sees us crying over the cat. But I also don't want to traumatize him or make it bigger than it is.

Any tips?

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[โ€“] BussyGyatt@feddit.org 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's a painful but very important life lesson. There is no age too early to learn about the facts of death, despite what modern culture might suggest. The human psyche is in fact prepared to handle this shock, even at that age, given proper support. It sounds like you've got the support aspect nailed. Just be prepared to answer and comfort and be honest. IMHO. IANA Pediatric psychologist, just an internet stranger.

[โ€“] sockenklaus@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

You're 100% correct!

There's a children's book by undertaker Eric Wrede, and in this book, he advocates exactly this: no child is too young to be confronted with death, as long as you're there to comfort them.