this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2026
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Everything I learn about him is against my will.
He also beheaded a beached whale with a chainsaw and bungee corded it to the top of his minivan for a five hour drive
That sounds made up. But so does all the rest of this.
What the fuck.
It's real.
Yeah, I believed it. It just sounds like it wouldn't be real. It's bananas.
"I hope ya know I pack a chainsaw (what?)"
You know, the more I learn about him, the more I actually think he would skin your ass raw
in his youth he would eat roadkill.
I already knew that, unfortunately!