this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2026
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Such a stupid take. You build a data center in Sydney when all the people are in NY? Think of the latency!
We need to build a giant spherical data center and humans will crawl on the outside like ants. No one will ever be more than the circumference away from another user, and all traffic can be routed through the fastest and shorted physical route.
Then the rest of the earth gives us 24/7 solar power. 10/10 super happy love love!
But it'll take four and a half billion years to compile its model and just as it's about to be completed the Vogons will destroy it to make way for a hyperspace bypass.
They built the Dyson sphere to exclusively power grok. The sun no longer licks the earth with its warm light. The land based datacenters on earth, now buried under hundreds of meters of ice, provide the few remaining sources of heat through their exhaust shafts. The last of the surface bound human refugees cling to them as camps and villages pop up here and there. Sustaining themselves on Jensen Huang brand "Hot Dog flavored" meat-like rations, they gather in small villages hobbled together about the exhaust vents. Unable to exhaust enough carbon from their blood they can't even risk letting their core temp drop. They know atmosphere as well the cold to be their prison wall. There they huddle for warmth, rationing, and waiting for the next hoard of autonomous PolyGPTMarket Enforcement Drones. Waiting to learn whether their agenetic overlords placed enough stake on their survival, or that the day had come - that they might be swept down the shaft, macerated and baked into hot-dog flavored oblivion.
Did someone say...