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Marriage is a state-sanctioned merger of assets and rights. It provides a legal authorization for decision making related to your spouse, shared property ownership rights, rights regarding power of attorney in an emergency, and tax benefits.
Everything else is religious/social ceremony and can be achieved without the need for marriage certification.
I know several people who didn't "believe in marriage" until their SO was in the hospital and they weren't allowed to visit or make decisions for them. Pretty horrible watching the estranged parent or second cousin making decisions about the health of your 10+ year partner, against your wishes, with no recourse.
This is a big reason my spouse and I married after already being together for 25 years. She is estranged from her family as well. She was in a car accident, she was unhurt but the car was totaled. So we got married in April.