this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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A Boring Dystopia
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Why is anyone spending that much on a date? FFS, you can find plenty of great, cheap eats in NYC. You just gotta look. Husband and I routinely go into Boston to dine and have never broken 65 bucks for food.
I can't imagine how this is true. Must be no drink, no apps, no dessert, and mindful choices on entrees. Because just an entree at a regular ( not fancy) place in my town is 24-32 bucks and that's not for the nicest dish. A drink is 8 to 25 bucks depending on whether it's a cocktail. Yeah, your spouse is fine with a quick meal with no add ons, but for a date, where the point is to kill time together, relax and get to know each other, lingering over a dessert and having a drink or two to loosen up is kind of the point.
Obviously you can agree that your first date should be going out to get coffee to see if you click, but that's still going to be 50 bucks after two to four drinks and a couple of scones.
Yes... and no.
I'm going on my 41st year with the husband, and thinking back to when we first met, and started hanging out together and dating.. It was never about the money. We packed lunches and went on picnics, took road trips and went hiking and only occasionally went out to eat. The first time we met, we were in a bar, and struck up a conversation. We'd hang out with mutual friends and chill playing frisbee or catch at the local park. (We both still have the gloves we got as kids in high school!)
In the long run, it's not about how much money you can spend trying to impress each other, or having a good time be defind by an experience created by or bought from other people.. It's about how much time you want to spend together, it's about having conversations, and when those moments you have suddenly not go the way you planned, you roll with it and find a way together, to make it work and have fun regardless.
Best time we had was on a trip into Boston to go to the museum.. Got stuck in traffic behind a road accident and sat for an hour, joking with each other and laughing at everyone else also stuck in traffic having freakouts over it. Him mangling the lyrics to songs on the radio and throwing out terrible bad dad jokes and puns. That was the moment I realized this guy sitting next to me was a keeper.
If you like each other and are easy in that company, it's not going to matter if you're in a fancy restaurant or not.. and at that point why waste the money?
What I've found that makes a relationship into a lifelong adventure aren't the things that can be bought, they're the moments that are unexpected and personally yours.
Lifestyle inflation.
where do you eat, fast food places? mcdonalds?
i live in boston and for me to eat alone it's $65 minimum at any average place. a nice place it will be twice that.
hell dinner for two at tasty burger will run you $50 now for two drinks two burgers and a large bascet of fries.
Well yeah, you're not it
Why do peacocks have such ridiculously inefficient feathers? Bird tail feathers can be as little as 1 inch long.
If someone expects me to pay a massive amount of money on a first date, that woild be a dealbreaker for me. Why should I reinforce any traditional gender roles in a crumbling capitalistic society
because it's do that or date nobody.
I date. 80% of single women expect traditional gender role dating. the other 20% of women don't date.
#1 deal breaker women hvae with me is I don't spend enough money on dates to impress them, even when it's $100-300 dinners. They expect $500-1000 dinners, weekend get aways , and international vacations. all as part of the 'dating' process. because that is what social media has told them is what they 'deserve'.
But are you interested in someone that wants this? Is that someone you want to have as a partner?
If no, then there is no point in spending so much.
If yes, there is truly not really another way except spend a bunch.
Putting so much emphasis on money and wealth is a thing very popular in the manosphere and around social media. It isn't that widespread in reality. It also depends on where you meet people. If you meet them at an expensive hobby meeting like golf or something, it's pretty likely that they want someone who is willing to spend money.
Do you know women platonically? Maybe ask them what they want on dates(doesn't mean you have to ask them out, just to get a different perspective), see if that matches what you perceive.
Different people exist
Cite your sources
doesn't mean they exist in abundance or in your area.
i'm sure some humble ice cream date lady exists for me, but she probably lives in another state. where I live women think you're a jerk if you want to take them out on a cheap date, and if's not a 'nice' date unless it's $500 or less. and yes, they look at the tab and judge you by how much 'spend' you are putting out.
I know, but it seems short sighted to me to accept only a single possibility for dating which involves spending a lot of money
Straight up I went on a drinks to check how we vibe date last week, super simple, 5 beers total, two orders of wings as apps(so 12 wings), $80 before tipping $20. Not to mention the haircut I could’ve put off had I not had a date which was $60, and the gas I used getting there $5. Even if I tipped my personal minimum for a server at 20% that’s over $100. I don’t mind paying for a first date because it’s every woman is potentially putting their life on the line by meeting a man they don’t know alone for however long it lasts, but I used to could plan 2-3 first dates over a week, spend less, and get more food and drink.
Fr, 200$?? like WTF?? For 200$ you can just find yourself a good expensive hooker and you save yourself the time and effor LOL But to be real, just maybe, dont go out with random golddiggers and basic girls. Personally, if its not a 50/50 or each one pays their stuff; its a red flag. And you can easily spot if its gonna be that or not from the tinder profile pic lol
Damn bro stop telling on yourself
Everyone that liked your comment including you agree
For 200$ that would be my thought process lol. I'm not spending 30$+ on a random meeting with someone im not even sure i'll click with.
How about spending $30 to eat something good while meeting a new person? You talk as if dates were simple transactions where you pay for the possibility of having sex with someone. If that's dating for you than you're right, just go get a hooker.