this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026

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Is it common after a breakup to lose every mutual friend you had? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 8 hours ago by rabber@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

38 comments fedilink hide all child comments

A year ago I broke up with my gf of 8 years after finding out she cheated on me and had been for a long time.

I quite literally have zero friends remaining at this point. Every single mutual friend has stayed friends with her and completely ghosted me. I can only suspect I've been slandered and that's why nobody wants anything to do with me anymore. I tried going to local shows as that was my community but it's completely sucked the fun out of things because it's a small city and there's always eyes on me from different corners of the room like I've done something wrong and I don't feel welcome anymore. So I've just stopped attending concerts which used to be my safe space. Standing by myself watching the band while people stare a hole in the side of my head isn't exactly enjoyable.

My lived experience has now taught me that 90% of people are cheaters, liars, and thieves, and while I know that's not reality, it's fundamentally changed the way I approach friendships. I don't open up to people anymore because I don't trust anyone anymore.

I don't think or care about my ex but the friends who ghosted me still cause daily intrusive thoughts. I don't know why I've been abandoned. No closure and no way to defend myself. I never expected how much more it hurts to lose friends than it does to lose a partner.

I miss my friends but they've proven they don't care about me so when they inevitably reach out to me there's no way I'll be able to forgive.

Probably I need to go back to therapy again but just curious if anyone has experienced similar.

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[–] chloroken@lemmy.ml -1 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

OP your post history is public. The reason your friends abandoned you is because you raped your ex gf. Any other questions?

And to think you want a safe space. What a fucking joke.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Reread the comment it says he was falsely accused. Please demonstrate where it says he did it. Just because somebody’s accused of something doesn’t mean they’re automatically guilty.

[–] radiofreebc@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

These days, evidence doesn't matter. People make decisions based on feels.

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

I've never hurt anyone before. That's a really cruel comment

I guess it answers my question though. If the right person makes an accusation like that you can lose everything. And that's why I'll probably never get close to anyone ever again

Yeah my history is public and I'm proud of that comment because it wasn't easy to write. I was heavily abused for years and the only person who cared and convinced me to get out was my sister.

[–] Azzu@leminal.space 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Watch "The Hunt", a Danish movie about a kindergarten teacher accused of raping a child. Obviously very hard to watch, be warned.

I feel with you, hope you can find better people. But yeah, I would agree with your 90% figure. They're not like that on purpose, they're just too unaware and don't have enough knowledge/discipline to get rid of mental biases. The 10% is why I haven't given up.

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 hours ago

That movie is a masterpiece and I watched it before any of this happened. I forgot about it and I'm going to watch it again.