Mostly about the same, but I am now more aware of them and able to manage them better and, hopefully, catch myself before things get too bad.
Autism
A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.
Community:
Values
- Acceptance
- Openness
- Understanding
- Equality
- Reciprocity
- Mutuality
- Love
Rules
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
- Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
- Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
- Do not request donations.
- Be respectful in discussions.
- Do not post misinformation.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- Do not promote Autism Speaks.
- General Lemmy World rules.
Encouraged
- Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
- Funny memes.
- Respectful venting.
- Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions regarding autism.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our community's values.
- Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
- Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
- We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.
.
Helpful Resources
- Are you seeking education, support groups, and more? Take a look at our list of helpful resources.
Aww, super jam! That's really cool =)
Better, but I suspect that’s largely due to the fact that im way more economically secure now. Thus I can afford, literally, to avoid situations and sensations I can’t handle.
Aww man, I was thinking about like...splashing cash for comfy clothing and just like comfy everything. Like never having another material that ever feels to "scratchy" or too "trappy" again. Hot damn, man you just lit up my brain like a Christmas tree. Hehehe!
I know you're talking big picture, but that's where my brain went with it =P
That’s a great example of what I was talking about.
It’s also about the situations: regarding clothing, I avoid working for uptight companies that do the whole “serious business” suit and tie thing and instead work for ones where the dress code is wearing jeans and t shirt every day. But I can only do that now that I’m more economically secure and have the CV power to actually get to make that choice.
So I’m never in a situation day to day where I have to wear a stupid scratchy collared shirt. (Ever seen Falling Down? The opening scene was sooooo hard to watch cos it reminded me of that shit)
Falling down? You know I think I know of it (it's the one about going postal right?) but I actually never ended up watching it. Which is kinda funny, cause I had it lined up with Taxi Driver but pulled one and not the other (I had Taxi Driver first and it was like game over by the end).
I don't really understand corporate rituals. I don't know if I ever understood them. I know they are the way they are to do business globally. But I think it's way better to do like you're saying and just feel comfortable working. Because that's what drives others further. But eh, it is what it is. I'm glad you got there! Thanks by the by =)! For that bit at the top, it was sweet!
Yep, that’s the movie. Hmm I haven’t seen Taxi Driver but I hear they’re similar. The opening scene of Falling Down is like.. the character being driven crazy by all these abrasive sensory things while stuck in traffic. Would screw with anyone but yeah.. that oldschool srs bsns office getup is my most despised element
You’re right, a lot of the time the rituals get in the way of getting the job done. And you’re welcome, thanks for the thread!
Yeah buddy =)! I'm on PieFed and there's like...five posts. And I think we deserve a space to express ourselves. Cause you never know what you're gunna find out. Either from your own writing or the writing of others (which sounds very Forrest Gump-y hahaha!)
Cheers!
ND here, with autistic spectrum trails.
For me it's getting worse.
But my sensory issues started around puberty.
Major issues.
I can't work in noisy environment, like excessive talking, loud music, machine buzz.
I started using earphones when I'm outside (walking or riding a bike) or do shopping.
I hate sunny days in the summer.
Can't stand blinding car headlights at night.
Room temperature comfort, looks like the range is shrinking.
Mine are also much worse and I suspect it's because I'm I'm a near constant state of burnout.
I hope you find some way to start taking time and space for yourself through out the day. Cause you can get really sick staying in this constant state of >o
As for me...I just experienced my least favorite sensation on the face of this planet. Or at least, that's what it felt like when I experienced it. It fills me with doom, and makes me want to rip off my own skin. In fact, that's what I imagine through flashes of what I can only describe as "pain" but can also describe as a "serious case of the yucks." I know it sounds like I am downplaying this, but legitimately I feel so unbelievably awful still. But it cools off after a while. But I have noticed it has gotten worse for me as I've gotten older. Maybe because I am not so mean to myself, and just accept my experiences as valid. But it's still hard, because it's something so casual for most. And it's like finger-rippingly awful to me.
I can still acknowledge that I am okay though, and that's pretty good. Phew!
Anyone else wanna share?
They've gotten worse. I became a parent, and that's stressful. and Stress makes my sensory issues worse. and Kids are a sensory nightmare.
No lie, and I mean no disrespect - but I thought the other day "Thank god I am not a parent, because I have no idea how people can hold down their own shit while trying to pretend everything is okay and taking care of at least one living, breathing thing with their own wants/needs/personalities." I feel like that would be my hell. But I know there's got to be some really wonderful trade offs that I can't see because I am on the outside. I hope you have some kind of sacred space or time to decompress from it all.
I feel no disrespect. Having become a parent, I understand why people don’t want to be one. It taught me more empathy and is why I’ve doubled down on abortion rights since becoming a parent. It’s scary, it’s super difficult, and I understand people’s decision. I can’t imagine being a single woman, alone, pregnant. And watching my ex wife struggle with birth to ultimately have an emergency C section opened my eyes to why women don’t want to go through that. They inflate a balloon in you!
The older I get, the more loud noises bother me. That might be normal though? Hearing loss is pretty common among the elders in my family. 🤷🏻♂️
That doesn’t make sense to me lol. Wouldn’t hearing loss make loud noises less bothersome?
Woah, your name. Is a whole thing. Of space and time =O! It is a bug zapper, for my mind. Also, hey - you azn? Whatsup!
you azn?
No I'm a filthy gwailou 😔
Hahaha, you cracked me up! Hahaha! I legit typically see only Asians taking the time to select the light-skinned emojis. So I thought maybe "hey brother!" Hahaha! Hey either way, hahahaha~! Hahahaha. I am still laughing. Hahaha!
I think I've mostly gotten to understand them better, and put more meaning to them.
It's a bit hard to describe. Because I've learned to have much more awareness oh what is happening to me when I'm experiencing sensory issues. One the one hand, this has made me hyper aware of them sometimes, which makes me sometimes hyper focus on them, making them worse. But on the other hand, I've learned to actually realize what is happening and get myself away from the situation, or at least practice some coping mechanisms and to practice self compassion. A bit of a two edged sword.
I've heard a lot of the "adulting" aspects of managing things is basically always towing the line between blowing up and being okay. God that sounds awful. By that, I mean I heard it's something like - if you notice you're being triggered super hard by something figure out a way to calm down as best as you can otherwise you might lose control of yourself and you could end up pontentially harming yourself or others (and I am not saying just going around smashing stuff up but just kinda "losing control" in general). But I'm not a doctor, and I only know what I know. One really great thing my therapist said is that even planning rest can be an exhausting situation for someone who's neurodivergent. So on a whole, it let me be kinder to myself and the things I need. Not having children helps with this about ten fold. But it's always an uphill battle, and I feel like we get stuck with the short end of the stick a lot, and have to work harder than most just to exist.
Another thing I read, which might have been on here - was that it seems neurodivergent folks have their own social cues and are much better at picking up them between one another. And while I can't speak for the whole of my closest loved ones - I can say one unifying factor between all of them is that they're all "kinda different" and they all have "big hearts." And by all this I mean, it seems when you surround yourself with people who just "get you" or just want to "be your friend" (the same as if you were 10 years old or 50) they always seem to be the easiest to be around. And I never stress about anything outside of frustrating situations they might be going through together. And if I feel like shit, I don't have to hide it - I outright say "I feel like shit" and they just accept it. It's pretty tits, and it's kept me going after all these years =)!
Gl! You got this. Keep kicking ass and taking names! HYAH!
I've gotten way more sensitive to clothing textures as I get older, and I don't remember having too much texture sensitivity as a kid (except for hating itchy tags). I'm also way too aware now of my clothes when I sleep, so sleeping in any kind of pajama bottoms or socks is impossible for me. That never used to be A Thing for me until a few years ago. It doesn't really impact my life very much though.
Idk how old you are, but I wanna just make assumptions (because it seems there's a large bracket of a certain age group floating around here) and say - it's it crazy to get more sensitive to clothing textures when all clothes used to be made of the most durable yet least breathable/staticly cut/outright funky (but some real!!) materials? LIke, sometimes I'll go to thrift stores and see stuff that I actually wore (not the actual clothing, but like the same shirts or jackets or whatever) from a hundred years ago and my hand will wander to the material and I will wonder how I got on so long in life wearing a paper bag and pretending it's clothing. Or itchy af sweaters. Or sweats that felt old the second you put them on. And maybe, because they were? Idk, it's weird.
But new stuff is nasty too. I am like a huntress on the prowl for solid clothes. Cause stuff will say x-material and feel like someone slid their shit-covered ass cheeks off my side. No thank you (and apologies for the visual, it's just what came to mind =_o!) I'm glad you found what works for you. I hope things level out and you just do what you gotta do whenever you go shopping =)
now in my 30's they are definitely better than back in my early 20's. used to hurt my ears when people just talked in the same room, that went away completely. couldn't touch some materials like cardboard and paper, now i can but it still irritates me a little. some things have stayed, like it hurts my skin if someone rubs me over a t-shirt but direct skin contact is fine.
I still don't understand why over the clothing is a no-thank you in most situations but direct skin - eh, come on it. I was better at ignoring that kinda stuff when I was in my 20s because I was dumb and horny. Now I am dumb, but in a dedicated relationship and better at expressing what I need to feel safe. Which is also a high-five. As in, high-five to you ***!
Better - but not through age.
Since I got diagnosed late, my before-diagnosis time was a mess and I had no idea why. Since my diagnosis and me subsequently understanding what's happening I have become less likely to compromise on things that will cause meltdowns.
I also have disabled status so I can request accommodations at work, and lucky enough my team and workplace are lovely about that.
I can't tell if time made a difference for me, but I feel like I've lost patience for people telling me "don't be like that", but that's probably also due to knowing what's going on now. I keep asking them if they'd tell a quadriplegic to not be like that and just real quick get them something from the high shelf. Surprisingly efficient, although there's always people claiming you're just being dramatic. Thankfully they are a minority around me.
Much better, but then again, leaving my parents house and finding myself on a safe environment for the first time in my life made a lot of things better I did not expect.
This might be an experience that more autistic people have
The actual experience of them? About the same. How much that impacts my life? Less than before.
Because I have greater vocabulary for describing what's wrong and have greater agency in my life to decide not to experience it I can avoid it better. I've also found that drowning some textures with others works;
Ex: melted cheese outside of the context of pizza or as a sauce is not good to me. However adding several other textures helps a lot. So getting a cheese burger when I ordered hambuger is only really a dealbreaker if it was meant to be bun, catchup, & burger. But if I get other ingredients light cheese isn't unacceptable.
Ah, yeah I get this one. Like a lot of people would shrug that off, and think you get "bonus" stuff. But it's something you can't just soldier through, because it ruins the whole experience and then some. While that's not my deal I did think about how icky it would be and it made me sad. I am glad you advocate for yourself =)
Worse, but I think a big part of that has been giving myself the space to have those sensory response moments, and just like understanding myself better, being more patient with myself, stuff like that.
Being true to yourself is 10/10 the way to go even if it causes things to get worse I think. Cause then at least you can figure out what you've been hiding with masking and just unapologetically do the opposite from here on out.
I do better with light-based over-stimulation than I did in my early 20s, but I have a lot more trouble with sounds. There's a retailer here in Japan that has its store music (loud), various TVs and other devices playing separate ads at the same time at high volume, and just people noise that leads to a cacophony that triggers my fight-or-flight. I can't go in there for long without noise-cancelling headphones. My brain I think tries to listen to everything at once and can't separate things out leading to issues; I hear them all so I can't listen to or discern any one of them (which is a more general issue I have that gets worse as I get older trying to hear people over any background noise).
They stayed mostly the same, experience wise, but as an adult I can make more choices myself. And I have more experience about what causes issues and what I should avoid in general.
I however still have issues with loud noise, itchy clothing, bright light and too much touch. But as an adult I can just buy (or sew) the clothing I can tolerate, I can wear noise cancelling headphones and wear sunglasses and just don't touch people and pretty much nobody can force me to do otherwise.
Worse. Or maybe I starter noticing more that my headaches and ear pains were caused by it.
Aww man, are yours smells? Lights? I took a pillow outside for some sun and prayers (as in, I pray it smells better) cause it's filled with some of the stinkiest materials known to man and it was stinking up the joint and giving me a solid headahce. I hope you're not exposed to something on the regular that is miffing you up. But I did hear this thing about colored glasses. And maybe if stuff is getting too much, you could consider grabbing a pair and just looking eclectic like =) GL! May things even out or get better!