Ask Lemmy

The bus driver watching loud porn on his phone and cheering them on loud enough for the whole bus to hear.

On the tube in central London, two 20-something women got on the train, one was leading the other on a collar and leash as she crawled.

The one holding the leash sat down on the seat, the leashed one sat on the floor at her feet.

Not my story but my dad's. He was in London for work and was using the public transit. I don't know if it's like this anywhere else but uk buses throw you around a lot. So a group of American tourists got on, with their typical "having a conversation with a stranger" behaviour, something unacceptable in the uk (/hj). The bus starts and the Americans just go flying and the entire bus of brits are just laughing at them.

There are night busses in my city, and there are loads of wild stories but maybe my favorite is this wholesome one:

So friends were returning from pub with guitars (some jam night) and didn't want to stop. Get to the bus and started playing again, few stops another guy with guitar gets on, joins them... So the trip went like all the people singing, players hops on and of on their stops and everyone have a good time returning from pubs.

When we did something like that on few hour long train ride some German girls really liked it, they didn't understand a word but they clapped after each song.

Young dude sitting waiting for a train flicking a bic lighter until it exploded in his hand.

Old lady fell off the platform between two cars while the train was still rolling. Had all the toes on one foot crushed and cut off. The sock was still intact so when we helped the conductor pull her back up it was just a bloody tube of sock with... stuff at the bottom.

Train stopped in the middle of nowhere after it hit a horse. The train won.

Lol your raclette experience reminded me when we once hooked up an electric cettle on a swiss alpine train to make an alcoholic drink called „fröschli“. It worked great but it also uses a lot less power. :D

There's probably a lot of crazy stuff happen in Vancouver buses. Vancouver is transit centric, so from the mid-upper class to the poor and mentally ill uses the transit
The last one that I remember was early this year. I was riding the community bus (a 24 passenger, single exit bus, ) and one of the passenger looked like he hasn't showered or changed clothes in days.
The bus bumped into something and the drive stopped and told everyone he had to stop and wait for the transit supervisor.
The guy then started screaming "WHY" several times to the driver and tried to pee on the driver. Luckily there's a plastic barrier (from Covid days) so the driver's safe. After that he probably realized he did something bad and walked out of the bus

Pretty mild but some guy with a box wine was harassing me the whole time he was on a coach bus. During a rest stop the driver saw me and asked if he was bothering me and I said yes. He said I could've reported him sooner and he'll deal with it. Never saw box wine guy ever again.

Also, on a separate trip, dude got on and immediately took his shoes off and stunk up the whole bus. Legit forgot what regular air smells like.

I was reading a book on the train. A guy had the nerve to come up to me and ask me about the book I was reading.

Some guy wearing a large hoodie got on the piss-soaked train right before the doors closed. As he was walking down the aisle he stopped right in front of me, pulled out a Taser, and lit it up right by my face. Right after he opened up his hoodie like the RE 4 merchant and showed a collection of batteries, tasers, Bluetooth speakers and all sorts of other junk. He was the world's shittiest salesman.

Guy sets a bluetooth speaker down on a seat, and then proceeds to do a full gymnastic dance routine right there in the subway car. Plenty of "regular" dancing, but also handstands, hanging from the rails, spinning on the floor, walking on the walls, the works. All well-timed to the music.

Didn't ask for money. Just got off at the next station. Dude just wanted to dance, I guess.

Wholesome one this time.

I played a club sport in college. Nothing fancy and I was a fine but not top-of-the-roster player. Several of us rode the city bus to practice every day.

There was often a woman on the same bus as us. She obviously had some mental and physical challenges. She would chat with other passengers at times, and eventually figured out many of us were teammates. She started getting into it, asking us who was the best player and if we were going to win "the big game". (There was no "big game" ever upcoming, it was just a question she associated with sports and asked frequently). One time she brought her autograph book and asked us all to sign it.

When we did finally play in a "big game", it got posted on YT. So I showed her a bit the next time we were on the bus together. She was pretty excited and asked for another round of autographs now that we were TV famous.

She never came to a game, I think a disruption like that to her routine might have been really hard on her, but it was fun having such a non-judgemental, joyous fan.

Two, both on the same bus ride:

Old guy comes on with a cart and starts selling cotton candy, with surprising success. 50 cents, and the rest of the ride people are just all enjoying cotton candy in violation of no eating rules (especially sticky stuff).

Girl, probably around 16ish, on a loud phone call with someone in regards to a boyfriend in prison with increasingly more depressing and dire details as the ride goes on except a random moment where she talked about Fortnite. We're talking drugs, pregnancy, other women, and Fortnite.

People just pissing on the floor in NYC/Boston subways. Not really that unusual.

• Guy with his pants down furiously masturbating in the middle of rush hour. Caused a delay.
• Tweaker trying to grind on us til a BAMF lady with a tazer and a huge afro scared him off
• Two rival gangs threatening each other with guns. Police raided the train from both ends
• Masturbaters on the bus
• Delusional woman accusing everyone of touching her hair and trying to pick a fight
• Guy blowing off another guy in between moving train cars
• Subway surfers
• On the bus, guy kept saying "mmm gassy" while eating Chinese takeout and loudly farting

NYC is wild

On a bus from El Paso to Phoenix someone smoked a joint in the bus bathroom and got dumped on the side of the highway immediately after.

Two hours later on that same bus trip the bus got raided by immigration and I got into an argument with the officer that wouldn't accept my ACTIVE, UNEXPIRED Military ID as a valid form of ID and started yelling at me for my passport (I have a Spanish last name). I threw my passport at him and told him to fuck off before I got my command group involved with his. I don't know how that worked but he got real quiet and left me alone immediately after that lol. There were several people that were pulled off of that bus that night. It was overall pretty shitty.

I once had a guy walk into the subway, sit down, loudly declare he'd sneak into a military base, steal a tank and kill us all, then rant for a while about specific ways to kill his fellow passengers, including some very specific grenade action.

Then he sat there in silence for a couple of minutes, quietly turned towards the too-horrified-to-change-seats nerdy guy to his left and politely ask him if he had a lighter for his cigarrette.

It was a morning train, most people just kept trying to nap.

Someone today had a balaclava on with a bandanna tied around the forehead and sunglasses on. It is summer here.

My favourite was the guy who asked me if he could borrow my phone tomorrow to record his wedding to me. Ha.

In New York some man decided to hold the whole car hostage to some lengthy preaching and finally I told him he was boring and to shut up.

As I was preparing to get off the train, I heard the man next to me say "hublublublubluh".

I looked over. He was lying down.

"hublublublubluh" he repeated, and this time I got to witness the exit of pints of beery vomit onto the floor.

The train stopped. The vomit rushed across the floor under other people's feet and bags. As I got off I noticed the smell.

Really glad that was my stop.

I did not expect the sheer amount of posts from Americans about mentally ill people or drug users. I taught this would get more vibes, like people moving weird furniture in trams, or people in weird costumes, or stuff like that.

I was taking the train to work and there was this homeless dude sitting there quietly scooping chocolate powder over his head.

Just using the little plastic scoop that comes in the can. Scoop, scoop, scoop.

He wasn't hurting anyone, so I called it in to the transit authority when I got to my stop. On the one hand, I didn't want anyone seeing a bunch of brown powder thinking we got anthraxed, at the same time, I didn't want to be late for work. ;)

"Yeah, there's a guy on the Westbound train quietly covering himself in chocolate powder."

"What kind of chocolate powder?"

". . . I dunno, Nestlé Quik? Does it matter?"

Dude on the train runs a successful business selling plain white socks. See him hustling nearly every day.