Asklemmy

Especially in news headlines: slams, blasts, mind-blowing, hack (or lifehack)

I'm sure there are others, but that's all my brain can handle at the moment.

"I could care less" to mean "I could NOT care less"

"Ding ding ding!" When someone agrees with something you wrote, but wants to make sure that you know that they already knew and claim ownership of the statement that you wrote. Condesending asshole. I did not arrive at your opinion late.

"Meanwhile" in cooking recipes. Just no. I am following a recipe in stepwise order. You do not get to tell me what I should have already done in the previous step.

Upskill. I'm not 'upskilling' someone, I'm training them.

Someone could take all the answers here and create a copypasta equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard.

Enshittification. Everyone just learned a new word and has to use it at least once in every comment section to feel smart.

"living my/your/their best life"

Please gtfo

Mama, momma, mommas…

“Hey Facebook mommas, I’ve got a question about…”

I don’t know why, but it annoys the shit out of me.

'Should of" instead of "should've"

im still a bit salty about 'literally'

also the constant failure to say 'i could not care less' correctly

I cringe so hard at the twitterist carebear-hugbox way of smugly claiming the intellectual high ground and shaming somebody:

"Be better." or "Do better."

The sentiment isn't terrible, but it's prevalent use is obviously just dripping with arrogance and thrown out in the most petty ways. Ugh!

Places using "gluten-friendly" to mean "gluten-free". I am gluten-UNfriendly. I do not want gluten. They've tried to be cute and actually managed to make the term mean the opposite of what it's supposed to.

"It is what it is"

I get the sentiment behind it, it's just usually so defeatist/dismissive of a situation to me.

i know i'm being a but i despise the term 'taxpayer funds'/'taxpayer money'. besides being completely wrong in nearly all cases, it places taxes above the people, above labor.

'American taxpayer is paying for the genocide in Gaza'. No, every person/entity using U.S. Dollars is paying for it. Even foreign countries are indirectly paying for it.

No, you don't have a "challenge" for me. You have a problem and are trying to make it mine.

"I'm just sayin'" ok but you're still an asshole.

The corporate overenthusiasm "LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO".

Ugh. Sure, maybe the product launch went great, but still. Ugh.

Not a term, but a lack thereof:

People I have to regularly interact with for work have been excluding "to be", especially with "needs", and it's infuriating.

This issue needs escalated. That report needs fleshed out. Let me know if anything needs cleared up.

If someone uses the word 'curate' they'd better be preparing to show me a shoebox filled with their favorite vaseline glass and not a pile of random deli meat on a wooden board

I work as a barista and get much too annoyed by people ordering a "regular coffee".

Like I know that 99.999% of the time they mean a drip/filter coffee (excluding that one lady that one time who was surprised I didn't parse "regular coffee" as a latte), but like can you just say drip coffee? Or even simply "coffee"!

I honestly don't even know why it annoys me this much.

More of a grammatical mistake, but "should of" instead of "should've" or "should have" annoys the hell out of me for some reason. I completely get how people make the mistake, but it's as much effort as just typing it correctly.

So many things. In written form, I hate when someone writes "Period." after they make a point to mean "this can't be argued" or whatever. My good bitch, I don't think you understand how arguing works. 😆

"Full stop" is a close second.

"Who hurt you?"

These days, that's shorthand for "I'm an emotionally stunted liberal who is so incapable of self-reflection that anyone who disagrees with a point I have must be acting from a place of unresolved trauma". It's always felt like people-who-definitely-used-to-post-to-4chan burning extra words to get to the r-slur they so desperately want to use; but with the exact kind of plausible deniability that gets their squishy bits either hard or wet.

Ironically, the phrase "rustles my jimmies" really burns my biscuits.

I had a young coworker who reported to me and a few others, for a few months earlier this year. She would come in and say ‘that being said,…’ all the fucking time. I heard it at least once or twice per brief conversation with her. I think she was just trying to sound smart… but, it was like nails on a chalk board to me.

People using double negatives incorrectly. Like "I didn't do nothing!"

“Cyber” 🙄

Please do the needful.

This one really grinds my gears! I think it's because the person can't even be bothered to describe what they want you to do, just go fix it and don't bother me with any details.