Greentext

Bro, you're supposed to use a NEW piece to wipe each time

Obligatory bidet comment. You don't have to wipe like you're trying to get peanut butter out of carpet. All shits become the same with a bidet, whether a short sticky stoagie or a hot wet mess of diarrhea. Imagine trying to clean a mud snowman off your driveway with a pressure washer. It can do anything.

Everyone has a 3% chance at colon cancer and fibre supplements are a good way to reduce your chances

Fiber. Truly, up your fiber intake. The only time it won't stain and linger is when it gathers in on itself.

So until they read about it on the internet they were leaving their butthole covered with shit all day?

Real ones use bidet or a watering can first then wipe to simply dry. Much cleaner.

Since nobody else has talked about it, blood in stool is most commonly caused by hemorrhoids which can be caused by wiping too hard but much more likey it's due to spending too many hours sitting on hard or rough surfaces each day, and you could even have a natural disposition for hemorrhoids caused by enlarged veins and the way blood circulates throughout your legs. It can also be contributed to by leakage from irritated bowels, as well as in people who eat large meals just before sleeping.

Generally professional care isn't required to resolve the issue, instead you can try spending less time sitting down, avoid bloodthinners, wash the area occasionally with cool or cold water, or sitting on an ice pack and rotating out with a hot pack. Many people have suggested dietary changes, such as eat a fucking salad for once in your life.

If it persists for longer than two or three weeks, seek professional care as it could require light surgery.

Bidets... You don't have bidets?

Protip: You wipe after you completely finish shitting, not the entire time you're shitting.

Eat more fiber.

Wet the paper using the sink

Obviously, a bidet is the best way to have a clean butt, but baby wipes are a good compromise when in public bathrooms, they clean much better than dry toilet paper. Or wash on the side of the bathtub.

Why would I stop wiping? There's still blood back there!

Use a bidet, I find whenever I have a burning, the bidet does it.

The blood is likely from a popped hemroid

I wipe homeopathically.

0.5 mm² gently applied at the top of my crack for a nice even dispersal.

Eventually there is blood but no shit.

Better red than bidet!

Bidet.

Bro, wash your ass. You don't even need to get that fucking deep, just buy a shower scrubber.

You need to shit some more. There is still ink in the pen.