super good luck. like the the chick from deadpool 2 I think or longshots if it always stayed on.
this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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Asklemmy
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Everyone within my earshot has to tell the truth.
Works with TV, radio. Any real time communication.
I think this should also work on myself
I would use this power to make a communist organization of my choice completely immune to infiltration
Imagine an America without COINTELPRO
Power to make people have empathy.
God of Toilet Paper.
You might laugh, but I would own the world.
If you were in my favor, you would get the softest, never-chafing, cleanest single-wipe-clean TP ever. No matter what you ate, no matter how spicy, no matter how ill, you could be assured of pain-free, cooling, soothing, wipes. It would be beautiful. Rainbows and peace, no matter how violent the shit
Piss me off? Anything you choose to clean your backside with is then designated TP. I will clog all the toilets, all the plumbing, all the sewers. I can make it all gympie-gympie leaves, sandpaper, wax paper, or just vanish mid-wipe. No matter how much you wiped your already raw ass, there would still be more. I would be a scourge on the Earth, and all would have to bow down before me. You would love me. You would hate me.
He who controls the comfort of the sphincter, controls the world.
Healing of all kinds. Ageing, sickness, and wounds.
Can't die. It's gonna suck in 800 trillion years. Imagine if you can't sleep either because you don't need to recuperate.
The dream of engineers: they can't get sick so no depression, they don't need to sleep so infinite focus and learning, and half a million years would be sufficient to build a large underground automated city and preparing space travel to find solutions for their curse
Ah yes, I also play factorio/satisfactory/dwarf fortress/rim world. I could easily do 1000 years with each of those, but a million might be streatching it
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You suddenly die of cancer that you've healed faster than your immune system can kill
Eh, I would class that under sickness.
Never becoming deaf and always having good hearing. I'm not sure I'd be able to enjoy life anymore if I became deaf, so just having good hearing would make the rest of my life worth living, without any major side effects I could think of.
Reading this reminded me that my ears are ringing. I can ignore it but if anything draws attention it can get pretty bad.
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Powers of a deity.
You are now Cyamites, the god of beans. Use your powers wisely.
Could be worse. Highly nutritious foodstuff providing plenty of vitamins, protein, and fiber. I could do a lot to alleviate some world hunger immediately. Making people fart all over the world would be fun, too.
I could also put beans in the no-bean-chili gatekeepers chili. Evil bean god could be fun, too.
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Sixth sense/ Intuition
The ability to shapeshift doesn't really get affected by this caveat, so that remains about as appealing as it was before.
Taken to an extreme, one can get a controllable/turn-off-able biological immortality and at-will violation of conservation of matter/energy.
The USSR obviously
I'd chose telekinesis. Heck man i'm sick of having only 2 hands and i'm lazy. I'm ready to use it everytime.
a whole gallon of jizz every time i cum
You never stop coming
yes ๐
Kegel would hate you
Super strength. I'm just always strong. Cool.
You would have to recalibrate your interactions, or you'd be breaking things and people constantly.
And don't ever lash out on accident (even if it's because you got ticklish or you jerked in your sleep)
Just stay fit
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