Asklemmy

In soup.

Open the box. Leave it out for a week. Crumble it up once it's hard and stale. Put the bits in a bowl. Pour in some milk. Sprinkle some sugar and honey. You've made pizza cereal. Bonus points if you use chocolate milk.

Uncut, center out from the bottom.

Or

Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.

This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole

By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.

slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson

Eat the crust, leave the rest.

Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.

Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.

take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you've spiral-noshed the whole thing

rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side

OR

not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace

With a spoon

Close second would be chopsticks.

Blending and drinking through a straw

You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.

Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that's fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.

After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it's very dim. "Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is." Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, "Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went." Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. "More for me then!" Eat the whole thing.

Instant legend.

Folded over so the cheese is on the outside then held with ham fists.

Better yet, Chicago style, but folded over so the sauce is on the outside and then eaten no hands like a pie contest

Chicago Deep Dish lmao gottem

Chopsticks

ITT: there is evil in all of us.

Soak it in wine and boof it

In a blender

https://youtu.be/H4Hkx3Qa1vY

Fresh outta the freezer

Burnt to a charcoal crisp.

Fold it in half (sauce outl, then eat it from the middle out

Or with a fork and knife

Eat it in reverse so it is expelled from the mouth after the journey though the body

Upside down

When we used to order pizza in middle school, kids would fold the slices one on top of the other and eat them like a big sandwich. That was the most popular way to avoid questions about whether they would share it with others. Not to mention, most people snuck to the toilet for feasting.