this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
721 points (96.5% liked)

Greentext

5950 readers
1895 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 119 points 2 months ago (4 children)

How old are they that they called labeled as ableist? This would not have happened in 2000s elementary

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 56 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

I don't know - the term "ableist" has certainly spiked in popularity in the last ten years or so, but even in the 90's you'd get a bollocking for throwing around the terms "mong" or "spaz" or "flid" within earshot of a teacher.

I mean, I can see why - I hate the terms myself now. but when you're in single digits of age, it's just used as another derisory term rather than a specific slight at someone's physical or mental development challenges.

It still got you in hot water if you were daft enough to get caught shouting it though.

[–] oce@jlai.lu 27 points 2 months ago

I'm not native and I discovered the word by reading a Lemmy community's rules.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I had a teacher in the 90's call me a spaz.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Spaz was very mild in the US and very serious in the UK. Meant kinda different things too.

The opposite for extremity in these countries at the time was fanny. Meant completely different things.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 5 points 2 months ago (10 children)

Were you in a big city? Mine was pretty small. I wonder if that has to do with it? I never heard the word until maybe high school or college

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 11 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Nah I was in a pretty small town, semi-rural but not buttfuck-nowhere either.

It certainly wasn't labelled "ableist" then, it was simply "being a little shit" - I only really learned of the term ableism around 10-15 years ago.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 20 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Hm.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=ableist&year_start=1990&year_end=2022&corpus=en&smoothing=3

They could be in 4th grade in 2010, and be 25 now posting this. I could also believe that elementary school teachers could be among the first 5% of people to adopt a new super-inclusive type of brand new lefty language that's just starting to be used for a new type of friendly inclusiveness in 2000.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Could be that they didn't say ableist at the time it happened but anon remembers it that way it just tells it that way.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 87 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Anon after getting back:

The name’s Richard

Retarded Richard

[–] M137@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Nems Bernd, Jeums Bernd.

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 56 points 2 months ago

Principal:

"OK this kid is fucking based, I'll reward him with a week off"

[–] PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 54 points 2 months ago (2 children)

When I went to school, one kid during that exercise said that his name was so-and-so, and one thing he liked to do was stick his thumb up his ass.

He was known as "Thumbs" for the next four years, possibly longer. I actually don't think I ever learned his name, he was just Thumbs.

[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I knew a kid who was caught beating his meat on a school trip, and was thereafter known as Spanky.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

Definitely a learning experience for that kid.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can see it now... I'm called first; I don't know what an adjective is (I still struggle); I panic from the social anxiety of stage fright; I awkwardly try to say anything at all, so I can sit the fuck down and move on; so I say, "Really Richard"

I'm told that's an adverb, and I need to use an adjective. Now I'm pale as a ghost and about to faint from the panic. I stutter, "Richmond Richard?". I'm informed that's a proper noun, so I quickly try again (visibly sweating) spouting, "Reading Richard!"... and am told to sit down, because that was a noun and I've now been assigned extra homework on grammar.

Someone snickers and says "Retarded Richard" in a low voice. The entire class laughs, the teacher is doing their best not to crack a smile (but I can tell), and I am henceforth known as "Retarded Richard" until graduation and beyond.

Adverbs, adjectives, verbs... prepositions! I'm in a living nightmare. There is no waking up from this. I am, forever, "Retarded Richard"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] serenissi@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Why your screenshot looks more beautiful than usual greentexts?

edit: is it a custom font?

[–] Trollception@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They used an AI upscaler to enhance the details

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 35 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

What is my purpose?
You enhance shitposts.

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 5 points 2 months ago

Zoomed in before screenshotting

[–] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This actually happened, btw

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

...Richard?

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

a 9 yo kid getting a week suspension at the start of the school year simply and only because he called himself ~~redacted~~.. idts

(it filters the word here)

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's dumb dick to his friends

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago

crummy cock to his acquaintances

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 15 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I wonder what Zelda came up with for that introduction

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (4 children)

"Xylophone Zelda". Really fucked over Xenias introduction

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Uh, xylophone doesn't start with Z, back to kindergarten until you learn your letters.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 months ago

Gotta be xenophobic Xenia now, sorry, I don't make the rules

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago

depending how she's feeling, zany, zen or zealous?

Or zonked, if she smoked a fat dart beforehand

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 8 points 2 months ago
[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Zooted Zelda (she on coke)

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 4 points 2 months ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago (5 children)

As an outsider, it's wild to me that you can/could get suspended from school so easily.

[–] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm concerned but someone must tell you: Greentexts are not real stories

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago (8 children)

I can't come up with anything better, can anyone else?

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 13 points 2 months ago

We had a dude called Richard in primary school that went blank at the thought of a nickname. Obviously, as responsible classmates we helped him out, and he was christened Romanian Richard.

Richard was not Romanian, nor did he have any ties to the fine country of Romania.

Whatever inexplicable logic that was at play here, directed that he should have the last ten seconds of the Taz-Mania theme sung to him repeatedly, sorta like:

"Richard Romanian,

Richard Romanian,

Richard Romanian,

We mean you!"

Before making the appropriate Taz noises finishing with a raspberry in close proximity to his face. What was really weird, was that Richard didn't appreciate this new fame and form of address, which was a real shame because everyone else did and it was highly entertaining before teachers got involved, parents got called, and it was saved for the days when Richard was really being a oil-fired arsehole.

These were the days before we drew the line from Richard to Dick, you must understand.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Reliable

Respectable

Resplendent

Remarkable

Relativistic

Reprehensible

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Rancorous should fit the average anon as well.

Or simply racist.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Reasonable Richard

[–] Hoimo@ani.social 6 points 2 months ago

Rich Richard too obvious for you ri**ards?

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I went to school with a kid called Richard Dick.

Nice lad, but somebody hadn't thought that through.

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago

Double Dick!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] jimmux@programming.dev 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They called him Rich-tard for short.

But he got the last laugh when rich 'tards ruled the country.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›