Asklemmy

When i was young i could sleep on a staircase and walk off next day as if nothing happened.

But now i sleep on pillow with slight angle and the next day is hell with neck and mid back pain.

Also alcohol tolerance reduced

You don’t feel older mentally, but your body starts to betray you. I don’t mean stuff like your legs aching after getting up when sitting on the floor, or getting tired easier; it’s the subtle things that really are irritating. Like taking longer to learn something. Getting fatter even though you don’t really think your diet is bad. Taking longer to find that word you can’t think of or the name of that person, movie, place, whatever.

The irritations that add up are the ones that you don’t really expect, not just the ones you do like needing glasses.

Then there’s “time.” Fucking day goes too quick. Used to be you felt like you could get all kinds of shit done in a day. Now? Run two errands and half the day is gone. Wtf.

Also, “lasts”.

You start to realize that there are things approaching that are the last time you’ll see or do something. The last time you visit where you grew up. Last time your kid lived at home. Last car you’ll ever own.

Yeah, the lasts suck.

Feeling confident without makeup.

Realizing that the pillars of success written by governments or institutions is bullshit and caring more about good people.

Feeling comfortable with a small social bubble. Quality over quantity.

Valuing naps over parties. 😴

Time feels way faster as you get older.

It's also pretty grim that the people you know are either dying, dead, or have a life altering illness that comes out of nowhere. I feel like there's a funeral in my family once a month, rather than once every decade.

I have to keep scrolling further and further back every year on age verification for websites.

I don't distrohop or tinker with my Linux install anymore. I just install Linux Mint XFCE edition and don't even bother changing the background.

The realization that I may never live to see capitalism collapse

Nobody mistakes me for a teenager anymore.

Kids call me "lady"

I want to go to bed at 9 PM

I get excited for new appliances

Looks at a picture of a family dinner from 10 years ago. One third of the people are now dead…

These are all cute, but when you start to lose your balance just turning your head or with basic movements, you really start to feel old.

It's only a matter of time before you start falling.

Once you start falling, you start dying slowly

• At 30 you reach the peak.
• At 40 you start to have small health problems that don't go away and are mostly annoyance.
• At 50 you seek help because it's more than annoyance. You get your first permanent medication.
• At 60 it's somewhat limiting and for the first time causing Intermediate pain.
• At 70 it's debilitating and pain is a familiar companion. You might have your first seizures.
• At 80 if it hasn't killed you yet, it soon will. You are probably an invalid or close to it.
• At 90 if you are still hanging on, you are waiting for death and welcoming it.

That's pretty much it, ±10 years.

Waking up with a new pain and having to make it the new normal.

Cuts and such heal WAYYYYY more slowly.

I also seem to bruise easier.

I don't enjoy gaming anymore

Losing the people you love in very different ways.

I got excited about a sale on toilet paper. It was 50% off for 30 rolls of the really high quality one!

Every fart is a gamble

The clothing styles I wore in middle school are cool now, except those damn low rise flares will not work on me at 40 because my mid-section would flab out everywhere. Damn kids.

My shoulder still hurts from last week when I slept funny.

The idea of staying out past 10pm sounds terrible.

I almost set up a breakfast date with a friend for 7am.

I'm really excited for a larger capacity water heater.

I'm starting to do that thing where I look down to focus on small text right in front of me.

Gray pube.

The rage inside has only ever increased. The older I get the more militant I get. By the time I'm 40 I'll be living in the forest defending my country from fascists with a bow and arrow.

Hungovers last longer, so do injuries from sport, easier to put on weight, less patience for bullshit, more selective with whom I spend my time with... There are so many!

Got excited about a four slot toaster that I bought.

Whatever im doing i gotta be careful or ill fuck my back up

Driving at night just sucks.

My wife and I get excited every time we come across articles about exoskeleton tech. Can we expedite this a little? I want a mech suit—not a fucking wheelchair—when I reach that age.

Also, a note to the designers: make sure you can use the toilet with it. Extrapolating current trends, I suspect this will become one of my primary activities.

Sounds strange but I feel like, they listen to me more at work. There is more respect to the things I say.

• Your former school teachers die. At this point, I think the majority of mine is gone.
• Your gum recedes, and there's nothing you can do about it except to stop smoking. On a larger scale, your circulation gets worse because your erythrocytes become less elastic, for reasons still unknown. Add to this the most damaging impact of UV light and our atmosphere's oxygen - an objectively very aggressive chemical - and you start shriveling, just withering away from the outside. Molecular bonds are simply getting broken faster than they get repaired. Your insides last a bit longer, but their days are numbered, too.
• On the plus side, you'll get to learn new words for body parts you didn't even know you had.

While listening to the oldies radio station and hearing music that was popular while you were in high school

Ouch. Why?

I’ve started to lose height as I get older instead of gaining it

The hairdresser asks if he needs to do your eyebrows.

I was in a mosh pit for the first time in 7 years last year. I got fucking destroyed and was sore for about 2 weeks. I also slipped walking my dog during a big snow we had a few weeks ago and took me a little bit longer to get up than I used too. I am not old by any means and working on getting back in shape, but its starting :(

Not me, but my dad and his gf were at a headshop to get a new bowl/slide for their bong. They texted me and my wife to see "what the kids were calling them now a days" after a guess or two I said slide. They then went on a tangent how the people had no idea what they meant and kept trying to sell them a downstem lol. A few younger guys at my last job gave me shit for calling a banger a nail. Weed lingo sucks lol

That the experience the issues old people told you about. My lumbar is always achy

I tore the fuck out of my shoulder and had to have extensive repair surgery done. When I was talking to my physical therapist about a specific aspect of the repair, he said that they tended to do that with "older" people.

Ouch.

Also, I guess that my goal of looking like 2016 Rich Piana has now morphed to looking like 2018 Rich Piana. :(