this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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I'm still me, 5'9, out of shape. But I discover I have this ability to score 2 points, anytime I have the ball in my hands and get get a shot off, backwards, granny style anything. It's good. Now I've had a discussion with my friends. One says I wouldn't get a contract, I believe I'm worth than minimum. I think my value would be coming into on games decided by a final possession. That should be able to shift the outcome of at least, The negatives? You may need to use fouls and timeouts to get me out of the game so I don't instantly give that 2 points back. I'm short and slow so if I have an NBA player on me I would almost assuredly be denied the ball.

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[–] paidscale@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Yes you're probably the MVP. Base on my understanding of the scenario you can always get the ball and your an automatic 2 on every possession. Your team would surround you with an all defense team. Assuming you won't die playing 48 minutes. The strategy is to full court press and giving away dunks. Since the other team has to hit over 2/3 of its threes and every other shot to win. Paul Westhead comes out of retirement to coach.

[–] pskill43@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You’d be the goat in a one point game.

[–] KasherH@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

You can't score if you aren't atheltic enough to touch the ball.

[–] ScofieldReturns@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (3 children)

So by rule you can't take a shot from beyond the 3 pt line? They'd have to run some aggressive screens to get you open and then you just have to catch it and toss it towards the basket in one motion. Some teams would take a gamble but it wouldn't last very long

[–] Nodecafallowed@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

It says 2 points at an 100% rate. In the scenario your worrying about, the refs are calling the offball foul and he’s at the line for 2 points and they both go in.

It’s worth 5 yrs/25 M imo to every contender. Probably more because if your in a clutch situation against the team that has the guy, the opposing owner is gonna wish he just paid up instead.

[–] ObservableObject@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

If OP drops all of the other weird conditions he added and just said he was guaranteed 2 points per game, no matter what, then it'd be a very slight bit more viable since he could at least chuck a three and shoot 2/3 at the line, or draw two techs or something.

In that case you could argue like, you're down 1 or 2 with .5 seconds left, you're guaranteed a win or OT because the magic would basically force them to foul him since he needs his 2.

But the condition that the magic power only activates if he actually gets the ball and gets a shot off? Complete non-starter.

[–] rngskrtskrt@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

he doesn't have to be open or anything. Just have their centre hold the ball and he just jump and pushes it and it will go in.

[–] The_Dok33@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

He would not even be able to reach the ball at that height, so no.

Also, that is not "in his hands"

[–] AnkitPancakes@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

2 points per possession would make your team the greatest offense of all time by a mile.

You would be paid multiple max contracts and just play with 9 defensive stalwarts who can hopefully defend 4v5 enough to score less than you

[–] KasherH@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

You would be paid multiple max contracts

You really don't understand the question.

[–] HereComesJustice@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

yes but your contract will be incredibly incentive laden.

you think a 100% bucket doesn't have some kind of use case for the NBA? They'll find a spot for you

[–] Yburn1978@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

IT was 5'9" and he ruled. I imagine if you could demonstrate that ability and a team wanted you they'd get your ass in shape since you'd have access to world-class training facilities and nutritionists. Like someone else said, you can't get a shot off if you can't get the ball so you'd at least need to be able to get free enough from a defender to catch an inbound pass.

[–] IMovedYourCheese@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

No value, because you wouldn't be able to get the ball in the first place.

[–] TheBottomLine_Aus@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

I reckon you'd get a solid contract a bit more than a vet min.

[–] NPCzzzz@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Summer league invite no guarantee and you’ll be waived before camp

[–] plopsack_enthusiast@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

You would be like the Golden Snitch in Basketball.

[–] HaikuPapi@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You would not ever get the ball and you'd get picked on on defense. The worst defender in the NBA is denying you the ball especially knowing you were a guaranteed two points if you touched it. You are admittedly short and slow.

What happens when a team uses their last timeout to get you in the game, you can't get the ball and then the defense decides to attack you in the pick and roll over and over and over again until there's a stoppage? Yeah.

Your friend is 100% right. You would not get a contract. You'd be a waste of a bench spot, practice spot and likely resented by your team for never being able to get open on guys like James Harden because they'd have an 8 Inch and 50+ pound advantage over you.

[–] frozteh@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean we would just inbounds the ball to another player in that case to take the final shot...

[–] HaikuPapi@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

And you'd be a complete waste of a roster spot which is why you wouldn't get a contract.

"Hey let's put this guy in, in the most important times of the game, knowing he can't guard a traffic cone OR get open and if he does he gets a whopping 2 points".

[–] sneedmode@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

You’d get a supermax lol.

They’d have you run off a screen or take a handoff and then you’d just throw it up and it would somehow go in (even if it has to bounce off someone’s hand).

You’d be dogshit on defense but you wouldn’t give up a guaranteed 2 points every play and scoring in halfcourt every single play is still not super easy especially when I can just load up on elite defensive players (what’s the point of offensive guys when I have a guaranteed 2 points per possession).

[–] yoppee@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago
[–] coyote3@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

You said it yourself: someone would guard you and you'd never get the ball. And every time they had the ball it would be 5 on 4 against your team. You'd be worse than useless. How is that worth a contract?

[–] slopaque@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Lol this is some NBA death note shit

[–] Geezmanswe@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Your usefulness would be zero. You couldnt get open being guarded by Trae.

[–] jelanijetson@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Taysom Hill

[–] Key_Suspect_588@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

A 5'9 out of shape guy, would not be able to catch the ball or be able to get a shot off with an NBA level defender guarding him.

[–] RatLord445@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

They’d pay you a 10 day right before the finals, but both teams will be competing for you so it will be the best 10 day contract ever

[–] gana04@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

It wouldn't have change the outcome of this year's playoffs except for a couple of series ending one game sooner and the kings beating the warriors in 6. How much is a player who will take you to the second round.

According to this article the Warriors made about 6m in profit from their second round vs the Lakers. So he's worth that: 6m.

[–] 2Blathe2furious@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Hypothetical makes no sense because a blocked shot is a missed shot, so you wouldn't be able to be 100% from the field.