this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2025
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[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Sure I knew him. Or I mean we weren't close or nothin' but you know he'd been coming around to open up the same time I'd be opening the bar. We said 'Hi.' Stuff like that. He came in here a few times.

Last Friday? Yeah. Yeah he did come in. Right after I opened in fact. Real talkative too. Mentioned somethin' about the Es-er-tactic Order Of Dagon having their yearly hubbub soon. I think he was angling to get me to provide the booze. Listen, I don't care what people and human-fish hybrids do in the privacy of theys own premises, but I was raised Catholic and my ma, no way she'd ever let me bartend for one of them ceremonies. I didn't see him again after he closed out on Friday. Yeah. Yeah he did pay with gold doubloons. It's a pain to get them exchanged, but they gotta be worth more than his tab.

Now I gotta move these kegs, so if youse fine officers aren't going to order any drinks, I've got to get back to it.

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

We got a lead on him from a bar tender at a real run down place by the dock. We are talking real occult type mumbo jumbo.

Great, it's the satanic panic all over again.

Chief, this squid stuff is whole another level.

Detective close the door. shuts door You look like hell.

I haven't been sleeping. Wife hasn't been the same since...

I want you take the afternoon. Don't come back until you unload those bags under your eyes.

Chief I-

This not a discussion. Pretend for a minute you respect the chain of command.

Alright, chief, you know I don't blame you for what happened.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

"I'm not talking to you without a lawyer present."

[–] frankenswine@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I'm white trash and I'm in trouble

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 week ago

"Nobody even realized he was dead until the furpile dispersed."

If it was CSI, though:

"Hold up. So because he dressed like a deer, the hunter that shot him faces zero consequences? The fuck?"

[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

“No I didn’t see his face”

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"You sure it didnt just slip your mind? Do you really think they'd do the same for you. Hes in the other room with partner right now and I'd guess his memory isn't as foggy."

[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I read that with ice t’s voice.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Unless they filmed a flashback to when I was killed, nothing.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I believe that the traditional thing to say is "zoom and enhance".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhF_56SxrGk

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

So the gun was in his possession the whole time.

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

OG Law & Order didn't really do that. I appreciate when the detectives would get stuck because of the 4 pixel security footage or the forensic evidence that had been trampled by an entire subway car's worth of people.

[–] GuyFawkes@midwest.social 3 points 1 week ago

It looked like a gun! Dammit, I thought it was a gun. 😭

[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Literally the opposite of anything any suspects say to cops or do in that show. Like seriously. It's ridiculous. Every single scene is the same. The cops come to someone's house to ask questions and the guy/girl like continues to do minor busy tasks while the cops are there and barely makes eye contact. If the cops ever come to your home, maybe make eye contact and answer their fucking questions? Don't keep folding laundry or making dinner or doing homework or whatever stupid shit they do on the show while the cops are trying to talk to them about a murder.

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Oh, no no no, don't stop what you're doing. Were just investigating a brutal triple kidnapping rape homicide. No big deal.

I’d totally pop off about bird law