What the fuck is wrong with people?
Not The Onion
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
Neuralink said in a blog post that it was looking for people who had paralysis in all four limbs because of a spinal-cord injury or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, these people are willing to take a risk in order to overcome difficult conditions, and that should be allowed. On the other hand, it feels like Neuralink is preying on their hopes.
If the company figurehead wasn't a libertarian billionaire edgelord, I might look past that second hand. No chance of that, though. He's going to kill people, and then he's going to retweet memes about it.
Wasn't there a report about dozens of dead monkeys from animal trials a few months ago?
I dont think they reached dozens, but yes this is the same project that had dead monkey headlines rolling around
Not just dead, lot's of suffering beforehand. Those were some nauseating stories.
I've read a lot of disturbing stuff on the internet but those descriptions of what the monkeys endured made me feel really uncomfortable
We're dumb animals, not much different from other dumb animals.
If squirrels had news media, they could have a story that says, "Thousands of squirrels are lining up to try to cross busy streets in front of cars."
And some number of squirrels would read that and think, "What the hell is wrong with them?"
At least crossing the street gives them a chance of getting to the acorns. This achieves nothing.
"Think about how dumb the average person is. Now, realize that half of them are dumber than that."
-
- George Carlin
Even if it was safe “Fitbit in your skull” sounds awful
“Please track my thoughts and sell the data, daddy Elon!” - the people lining up for this probably
As I said in another thread about nLink:
Anyone getting this shit will die just like every single fucking monkey test subject. If they don’t die, their suffering will be unbearable
https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/
Go on Elon, show us how it’s done and take the first one
Dad got his brain chip in 2010. Worked great. Had nothing to do with neuralink. They've been doing these implants safely for at least that long. The fact that musk can't keep monkeys alive says a lot about the fact that neuralink isn't ready.
That’s fascinating, could you share a manufacturer name? I’d love to look into what kind of brain chips are out there that aren’t from phony stark
Love that they're calling it a Fitbit in your skull. Cause Fitbit is currently dying and removing support. Imagine getting a skull implant that stops getting support and updates after a year, and you now have a useless device in your brain
you now have a useless device in your brain
I think that if you are one of the first to volunteer for this, then you probably wouldn't notice.
"Your trial subscription to module: 'breathing' will end in 30 days. If you'd like to continue your subscription please accept the new terms and conditions and link your payment method using the following link."
P.s. I know neuralink cannot do this... Yet
This is like self-solving problem then?
tf is my skull gonna do with a fitbit?
It's useful for keeping track of your mental gymnastics.
Brilliant. Purchasing now.
I would guess, and this is completely a guess, these are Elon fans who think that the vaccines were dangerous and had microchips in them.
Everyone needs to read about the poor monkeys in these trials.
Horrific.
I'm happy they've moved on from testing on unwilling monkeys, to willing humans.
It does not surprise me that muskrats would sign up for this. Theyre basically brainwashed anyway so a chip wouldnt really change much.
We... at least I learnt about this in school. Its called natural selection.
Ah, natural selection. I don't wish death upon any of these people, but I certainly won't be surprised when they start dropping like flies (or the countless monkeys in the trials).
Welcome, to the latest episode of Evolution In Action!
Today’s contestants will attempt to survive having foreign objects inserted into their braincases!
But first, a word from our sponsors.
Musk makes it sound like he is the only person with a company investing in this, even though.
One example is Synchron that already beat him to human trials two years ago
I'd be in line myself of it wasn't for a few key things.
Successful trials
Elon's history on fucking with shit for his own entertainment and/or personal gain
You know this will be connected to the internet to work
Hooo boii. I just cannot wait till we can't sleep because Muskrat keeps appearing in our dreams, trying to convince us that he is a cool memer.
Fuck him, and fuck that.
No way in hell would I do that. I can't think of a worse technology to be an earlier adopter on.
Eh, someday we're going to have safe, powerful cybernetic implants and it'll be because some people were willing to be test subjects. I'm not willing to be a test subject myself but I'm glad that other people are.
With the way corporations are behaving with our electronic devices, I wouldn't trust any of them with my body.
"Before you enjoy your mid-afternoon nap, a word from several of our sponsors. Please close your eyes for optimal viewing experience"
We already have what classifies as "cybernetic implants": pacemakers, brain implants to combat parkinson's disease, etc.
We need medical technology to advance. What we don't need is a bird brain (no offense to birds) touting a technology that will bring a solution for a problem that does not exist.
This link from the middle of the article was better than the article:
Synchron has already implanted the device in four patients in Australia who have been able to use the brain implant to send messages on WhatsApp and shop online.
Ahh, consumerism at its finest.