RPGMemes

Healing Wood

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Sure... Repairs damage to doors and furniture...

Can't wait to shred a mother fucker with pieces of broken pottery!

I would like to buy like.... 30 scrolls of Tenser's Floating Dick please.

Arcane Dye - for when you don't want to worry about mixing your whites with your reds.

Healing Ward - blocks all heal effects on the target.

Heap Metal - for when you don't feel like paying a hireling to collect the gear of that bandit camp you just slaughtered.

Antilife Spell - wait, I guess that's just Power Word Kill...

Burning Lands - when Fireball just isn't Fireball-y enough for you.

Chromatic Orc - summons an orc ally. A different color each time you cast the spell.

Control Hater - a more powerful version of Command that only works on things that are currently hostile to you.

Fire Stork - that wizard must have really hated storks. Incinerates the nearest stork.

Fig Cloud - an alternative to Hero's Feast for vegan parties.

Glyph of Barding - acts as armor for your horses.

Prismatic Ball - hold on, I've been notified this was just a mistranslation of Chromatic Orb. Never mind.

Rope Brick - this is what you get when you let the Barbarian make spells.

Sheep - conjures a sheep.

Stonespin - does what it says on the tin.

Runbeam - force the target to move their full speed every turn.

Rime Stop - I was kicked from a table after bringing this into a Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign.

Wash - why would you spend a 9th level spell on Prestidigitation?

Some new ones:

Lending - the real way to make gold.

Dust - makes everything a little cleaner.

Lust - makes everything a lot dirtier.

Bare - put that back on.

Lightning Lute - lets bards play Dragonforce.

Lightning Lube - lets bards do other things.

Massage - see above.

Child Touch - why don't you have a seat over there.

Fire Colt - impractical to ride, but looks badass.

Fine Bolt - produces some excellent cloth.

Sopping Sting - material component: towel.

Cause Tear - material component: onion.

Thundercrap - makes everything a lot dirtier.

Compelled Duet - the bard ropes you into a musical.

Defect Magic - counterspell, but funnier.

Dog Cloud - oh gods, who fed him cheese?

Inflict Sounds - I cast tinnitus!

Wild Canning - preserves food.

Arr Bubble - everyone in range talks like a pirate.

Zine Of Truth - mimeographed to fight the man!

Animate Lead - it's just a gun.

Speak With Deaf - need your hands free.

Wall of Wafer - ineffective, but delicious.

Egg Whip - stiff peaks!

Heath Ward - man, fuck that guy.

Magic Bar - goes well with Tending.

Glyph of Carding - let's see some ID, "halfling."

Wine Walk - after hitting the Magic Bar.

Soul Cafe - much more relaxing.

Wash - finally, everything is clean.

Counterspill - put any liquid back into its container. Potions included.

Oh man, that would be so useful. Oil spills, railcars, spilled milk, the possibilities are endless

Ragyo Kiryuin definitely has one of the best personal themes in all of anime https://youtu.be/6M1UU53Y4LE

Damn, now I need to rewatch Kill la Kill

Replied to a comment instead of the thread like an idiot. Ignore me

I just realized that it bothers me that Slow and Plow don't rhyme.

Mending -> Rending

Leomund's Tiny Hut -> Leomund's Tiny Hun or Leomund's Tony Hut

Charm Person -> Harm Person

Alter Self -> Alter Elf