2, 6, 9
this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Skinny, happy, and rich - perfect combo!
Revenge of the MonkeyPaw:
1 you are allergic to eating fat and can no longer eat any fat whatsoever.
2 your body has lost its ability to process nutrients, making you starve to death.
3 you’re banned from every store on earth.
4 only your neck gets 5cm longer.
5 but only in your dreams.
6 you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy.
7 and you’re awaiting your trial as you’re a KKK NeoNazi kult leader.
8 you get Alzheimer’s disease.
9 but you cannot access it because the government froze your account due to being investigated in a money laundering scheme.
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(3 replies)
2, 5, 9.
Stop shopping??? Dafuq
No more shopping for groceries, you have to forage in the woods from here on out
999
I think some of these need clarification 😅
5, 6, 9. I would take 5 as "emotional/mentally"
My issue with 6 is that it feels like a monkey paw. There are times we shouldn't be happy, like tragedies happening to others, deaths ,etc. While being overall happy in life sounds great, always happy sounds like a cognitive issue.
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(4 replies)
9 thrice
4, 5, 9
2, 6, 9. Health, happiness, comfortable life.
Only 9, the rest are useless/bad for me. 1 and 2 are nearly the same, and not a thing i have a problem with. 3 idk what the benifit of it should be. 4 i am tall enough. 5 would be nice sometimes, but at other times it would only cause you to break things. 6 it would be bad to not be able to cry in bad situations, as these are also part of life. 7 i don't need publicity 8 i don't have an ex 9 you can do a lot with money in this world
- is just MDMA
1,2,9.
- As long as i can stop smiling at funerals. I'm not unhappy but more is better.
Then 4. 5. Or 9. Are my options.
I'll probably take 9. I have enough money today but I've been disciplined with my spending my entire life. It's just something that I can stop thinking about.
- Or 5. Would just be vanity, but if I'm happy I don't really see the problem. Maybe 2. So I don't have to think about that either.
I'd pick 459 if I could put the 5cm on my ding dong.
if i chose six, i wouldnt need any of the others.
5, 7 and 9 so I can start a revolution. I've made my peace with the fact that most people follow, live and die for people, not ideals and values (only the leaders do, and when they don't it all collapses), might as well play my role with my new superpowers, lol.
2, 5, 9
With 5, 7 and 9 I could start a cult.
No more fat? Like, for me or for the entire world? Because that’s terrifying either way. I’d die within minutes in either case.
Hit me with the 159, chef.
5,6,9. Already have 1,2
5,6,9 only ones that really make a big difference in the grand scheme of things.
Being super strong would mean you’d likely end up doing a lot of physical activity for yourself and others, but it would also mean that your resting metabolism is significantly higher than baseline which handily takes care of the fat/weight problem.
Being taller would be fine I guess but, and I say this as a woman in the bottom 25% in height, it wouldn’t actually make any substantial difference in life, beyond being able to touch the floor in a standard chair.
Having a lot of money takes care of shopping without stopping it, As well as the followers thing (rich people are often famous, and if not they can dump some money into something to make them famous if they want) and I feel being happy over-rides forgetting your ex, cuz you wouldn’t feel bad about it.