It's really hard to know why people haven't been supportive without knowing you and them better. But how do you know and interact with these folks? Do you have them over for drinks? Play games online? Do they all know each other? Did they know you or your ex first?
this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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I'm sorry that you're in this position and I can unfortunately understand on a deep level on just how distressing it can feel to be alone.
This situation that you're describing is really painfully close to what I personally experienced with one of my own breakups.
Men are often viewed as the ones who should predominantly pull themselves up by their bootstraps and as such shouldn't be given empathy or the right to be listened to.
- an an Enby I've both seen and experienced this firsthand.
It really sucks that these kinds of disconnection happens when reality really doesn't have to be this way.
I unfortunately can't say anything that could possibly fix this landscape but please know that you are not alone. 💪
💖🙌 Your pain and emotional distress is real, you deserve love just as everyone else. 🔥💖
If possible, I'd highly reaching out to your local social empathy/mental help centres as I've personally found help there and they might be able to help you as well🍀🌻
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Men are disposable in a genetic and social sense
Add on top of that patriarchy hurts us too, forwarding the 'strong silent' fiction
Everyone is shitty nowadays, not just your circle
hitting half a century this year, no one except me has ever given a fuck about my struggles
You should seek some help or at least find a support group. Churches have them and usually aren't too godly about the if you are opposed to religion.
Also stay off social media. It's only a window into the best parts of someones life.
As if my SO would ever go through Lemmy
My guy. I hear you and see you. It’s unfortunate the way things landed for you. Keep putting in the hard work. I wish I had more advice for you, but I’m down in the weeds in a similar “friend” situation myself.
I will say this: do things to take care of yourself. Keep the house clean, make yourself bonafide dinners, and treat yourself every now and again.
Holy shit man, reading your story was just slightly diffrent than mine. Like looking into a mirror.
My partner broke up with me 5 months ago, we've been together for 11 years with a kid of 5 years old.
I lost it a couple weeks ago now and had to be checked into a mental facility. My sister is helping my ex and long story short no one is on my side. I have one friend and my Mum doing her best to help, but if you ever want to talk. I'm here for you dude.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sucks getting no to little support and being betrayed like this. Please if you're in a bad head space, I'll be here for you and do my best to get back ASAP.
37m going through it now. Mutual aid groups have been supporting me and providing me with community.
Its likely those people just weren't your friends or even gave a shit about your situation.
Sucks to hear that mate. Unfortunately with most breakups, many/most shared friends will “pick a side”, either by feeling like they need you or by being asked to by 1 or both of the parties. For whatever reason it sounds like your ex got most of them - possibly by lying about the relationship and break up, as cheaters tend to lie a lot.
You have to think of it this way - if this is how they behave, they weren’t real friends in the first place and you’re better off without them. It might not feel like it, but you’re better off without them.
It sounds cliche but hit the gym, unfollow and BLOCK her on everything, and invest in YOU. You’ll quickly make new friends when you want to 1 again, the gym is great for this. Working out makes you feel good, will make you healthier and better looking, and the people there are generally there for the same reasons.
I’ve been told, and from personal experience it seems right, that it generally takes about 3 years to get over someone you loved after a break up. It might suck till then, but one day you’ll just realize you don’t have any feelings at all towards them any more.
Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with?
The latte,.been there done that 30 years ago albeit I keft (no cheating involved)
Good licwk amd hope u can come out the other side and not be bitter.
Getting support is not always a given. Try to get some hobbies and new friends.
Friends come and go, maybe you don't feel that way now but people can learn to live not depending on anybody for their well being. You just have to find your way and new friendships with the right people will show you that there is more to life than clinging on the past. Good luck!