"It's not my fault you're stupid"

"Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark."

"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"

If only you had learned to tell time.

"So, you're both rich and stupid"

Holds up wrist sporting a Casio F-91W "Al-Qaida"

Big deal... This watch also costs more than my car.

“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”

Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?

“Your watch cost more than £100?”

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

"Didn't ask"

"You should have saved up a bit more and bought something less gaudy"

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

Damn thats a cheap watch, is it Chinese too?

I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.

But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

Man, it is a shame you can't buy class because you could use some.

"that's cute!"

"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."

I'd just start laughing and point at them.

"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"

good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then

I don't have a car

I don't care to respond

I don't mind sounding poor.

Wealth beyond what is good for you is no better than theft I'd say. Buying expensive watches while little children grow up in poverty is nothing to be proud of. If anyone should feel shame it should be that guy. Don't be humiliated by such shameless assholes. And don't try to counter attack, It won't work, they don't share your values, they feel no shame for the things that they do. Instead let's organize and fight them where it hurts. Taxes, taxes, taxes.

That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap

Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

"Does it keep better time than my 15 dollar digital Casio? Is it sturdier? Will it last longer? Is it more comfortable? No? So you spent a ridiculous amount of money to buy a less functional watch made out of precious essential materials just to try to impress people like me?"

Honestly though, if you want to piss watch people off, just say "Oh, it looks just like a regular watch, thanks for pointing it out".

"and yet your dad still don't love you."

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

"Good for you. Have a cookie. My $20 Casio tells the time just as well."

Do have some other investmentadvice I shouldn’t heed?

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

"Yes, your fancy jewelry is very pretty. Good job."

Edit: after I stopped laughing, of course.

Woow, what does it do?

• It tells time.

Nothing else? So does my car.

So you are fiscally irresponsible and you are proud of it? Good to know…

“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”