this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2025
746 points (97.2% liked)

Not The Onion

16740 readers
1981 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 53 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Awesome, so if you see those maga people at crosswalks or outside of planned parenthood, go ahead and run them down

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 16 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I don't understand how these MAGA Morons can't figure out that these laws they want are two-edged swords. If they can use it against normal people, then normal people can use it against them, too.

[–] mira13@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago (3 children)

That's because you still think the system will act fairly, it won't. If you hit someone the administration likes, you're in trouble, if you someone they don't like, you're a hero. There's never been any intentions of fairness from the republicans, rules for thee not for me.

[–] Crankenstein@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

This is the number one flaw with the "rule of law" and State authority structure. The enforcement of the law always comes down to how the ruling body of authority, the State and its representatives, interpret the laws. It is why they are intentionally written to be vague, to allow a court wiggle room in how to apply the letter of a law to a unique situation, and many in fact contradict each other if argued a certain way.

If the system becomes corrupted, which it often is due to how top-down power attracts people who seek control over others, those vagaries can be used as weapons against those who oppose their power and to systematically exploit marginalized people.

load more comments (2 replies)

Maga has gotten the green light that rules don't apply to them especially after j6 pardons. If someone runs over a maga idiot you can guarantee courts will throw the book at the driver. Rules for the and not for me.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 276 points 3 days ago (3 children)

That ICE agent looks a lot like a protestor.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 72 points 3 days ago

Protesting immigrants seems to be their thing

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago

I thought it was the protestors wearing masks! Honest!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Joeyowlhouse@lemmy.wtf 10 points 2 days ago

And people wonder why South Park stopped making episodes. The world of South Park is normal compared to this.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 172 points 3 days ago (9 children)

In a stand your ground state?

Haha, ok. Good luck, Attorney General James Uthmeier.

If an armed protestor shoots a driver who is driving at them with intent to cause bodily harm, they... Both have the right to possibly kill one another?

Driver has the green light. Gunman has the green light.

Cool, cool. Makes sense.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 120 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Skin color, last name and political affiliation will determine who’s the victim and who’s the assailant

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 37 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

That sounds like maximum USA . Two people not caring about the other, only thinking about themselves, and neither willing to just back off

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 45 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Childish Gambino is apparently a modern prophet

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I read that as Protestants and wondered how long Desantis had been a Fenian

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

imagine hitting someone in the car, then the police arrive but dismiss you when they find out the person you hit is a Protestant

[–] Skyfox@lemmy.world 34 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

Fact check: Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis said drivers in his state are allowed to hit protesters if they feel as though their life is being threatened. So technically true. But still not great

[–] Plurrbear@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Using the “Kyle Rittenhouse” excuse!

“I was so fearful, that I drove from my house in IL to another state with a rifle and shot people because, “I feared for my life! Not like it was murder or anything!”

So now all MAGOTS are free range, hit em if you see them and feel threatened!! So in FL you can run someone over via the governor! So fucking dumb! I can’t even try to understand what is truly going on in America because no one can other than all the oligarchs and billionaires running the country/world!!

[–] buttnugget@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Which means the same as their ridiculous stand your ground law: right wing traitor lunatics will get away with actual crimes, and normal decent folks will get busted.

[–] randon31415@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Which begs the question I've been asking for some time now: If someone tries to run someone over, and they respond by (non-fatally) shooting the driver, who gets arrested? (Assume both are white republicans).

[–] JackFrostNCola@aussie.zone 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

To make matters more complicated the driver is homeless and living in their motorhome, so were they also attacked in their own home?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

In that case, I guess it's ok to splatter the folks protesting in front of planned parenthood?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 120 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

"And so if you drive off and you hit one of these people, that's their fault for impinging on you."

He continued, “You get 20 points for adult males, 30 points for adult females, and 50 points for children. Points can be redeemed for ‘DesantisBucks’ once you reach 500 points or more.”

EDIT: a word

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] numlok@lemmy.world 66 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Cool, so all we need now is a list of Proud Boy demonstrations in FL.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago

No not those protests

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 days ago

Weird. The more I look at DeSantis the more he looks like a protestor. Just me?

[–] ABetterTomorrow@lemm.ee 9 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Same with right to hit Nazis and police with cars.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Railing5132@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (2 children)

A state governor just authorized vehicle ramming attacks against probably his own citizens. Disgusting and disgraceful.

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

He didn't "authorize" anything. That's not how laws or public policies are created. He's just bloviating like all MAGA Nazis. If it actually happened, the person would be prosecuted based on the law, and their defense of "The governor said it was okay!" would not be accepted by the judge.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Free speech is where people legally violently kill or injure you for speaking

load more comments (1 replies)

“Have Right to Hit [liberal, democratic, equality-seeking, anti-fascist] Protesters With Cars [but not pro-fascist, talibangelical, NAZI demonstrators]”

The subtext is important.

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 61 points 3 days ago (7 children)

So we have the right to hit you with our car Ron?

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 3 days ago

I hope he says no, thus protesting your request...

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Doc_Crankenstein@slrpnk.net 32 points 3 days ago (5 children)

This is just one more reason why there needs to be an organization participating in protest spaces specifically to provide armed security, same as Black Panthers provided security for civil rights protests.

People won't be so willing to drive into a crowd of protesters if the bloc has an armed perimeter.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] vivavideri@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (3 children)

What if we hit him with a car?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Jaysyn@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (3 children)

That means I have the right to put 9 rounds into the drivers seat before that happens.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] DrownedRats@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Bear this in mind next time something like a unite the right or Jan 6 happens.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com 29 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

The Xitter post cheering the speech caught my attention, so I clicked through to the X user, "iAnonPatriot" and just have to say, wow.

It starts off with his bio image being literal hands goatse'ing through the virtual Matrix grid, and it only gets worse from that level of basic. Just a red-pill Nazi fever dream in feed form. 610K followers.

Videos of protestors getting abused are his favorite, apparently. One top one is police firing gas into apparently peaceful protestors. The protestor kicks it back, walks back and is just standing there doing nothing threatening, and then apparently gets shot with a rubber(?) bullet and lies motionless for a moment before someone picks him up and he walks off. The caption this guy gave is "HOLY SH*T Perfect shot.. 🤣🤣🤣". Anti-LGBTQ posts feature as well. General concentrated bile into a convenient feed.

So I guess this "influencer" is what Gen Z is getting fed by algorithms and told is normal day-in and day-out?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This belongs in something like c/evilpeople more than nottheonion

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Wilco@lemm.ee 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

At this point Republicans are just being idiots. They say whatever 1940s idiot shit pops into their head.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

He doesn't "say" that. This law was passed a while ago

[–] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago
[–] Fingolfinz@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I’m firing my gun at the driver in defense if they’re trying to hit me with their car

load more comments
view more: next ›