No Stupid Questions

Learning how to do small talk will improve your social, economic, and relationship opportunities in countless ways.

Asking people questions about themselves makes them think of you as likable.

Remember the acronym f o r d: Family Occupation Recreation Dreams

Small talk can be learned and getting in some more practice might make it bearable, perhaps even enjoyable.

When you are running out of topics keep the acronym above in mind and ask a question related to one of those topics. Something like this example:

Q: So, have you always lived in (wherever you are)?

However they reply, follow up with it positive and encouraging response such as: "ah you're a long timer. I thought there weren't too many of us left!" and then go right into a follow up Q also related to the acronym but now attached to the new information you have such as: is your family from this area too? What brought you here initially? What do you do for work? Hey since you've been here so long, what do you think about (insert local drama that's been in the news).

The goal isn't to interrogate, but to smoothly and rapidly sort through topics until you find commonalities. Then you can lift off and the conversation will feel very natural and easy.

I heard about this 20 some years ago and have used it at the start and end of business meetings, on first dates, with strangers, and heck sometimes even with my friends if we're catching up and I want to cover things that are core to them.

1st rule of an adult: video is an extremely ineffective media for any information except for sport and porno. You're a grown up now, learn to read.

Your first time doing taxes, go to the public library and grab the paper copy of the instructions, even if you're submitting it electronically. Read them and highlight anything that's confusing or important.

Laundry: Use less detergent than you think, and colder water than you think. Don't machine-dry any wool and most synthetic fabrics.

ADHD? Look into a bullet journal for keeping track of important info. This is not a product, it's a method, and you can do it with a 50¢ composition book. The main benefit for someone with ADHD is that it's stupid easy to start and doesn't break if you forget to do it for a day or a week or a month.

Buying insurance? Hiring a contractor? Know your budget and get at least three quotes before deciding.

You don't get promoted by being good at your current job. You get promoted by asking for it, or by jumping to a different company.

Start investing now. Pick a stock or fund that's boring but steady and buy $50 worth (or more, if you can afford it), rain or shine. Don't stress about optimizing it; even boring investments should have a return well above inflation.

Never lend anyone money. It will destroy your relationship 90% of the time. If someone needs help and you want to help them, just give them the money. Either they'll pay it back some other way or they'll pay it forward, but no matter what it won't be hanging between you.

If times are hard, don't be afraid or ashamed to take advantage of programs or food banks. That's what they're there for. You're not taking it away from someone who needs it more, most food banks have a big overflow from week to week. If you feel bad about using these programs when you're down, well, make sure to donate or volunteer when you're up.

I think one of the most important things any adult needs to know involves interest and debt, which are two parts of the same puzzle. Not knowing about interest can very quickly lead you into a lifetime of debt, and seriously alter the course of your life. It's so so so easy to fall into these traps and yet so difficult to climb out of them. And it's not because people are stupid but because these types of things are purposely vague and shady and designed to prey on people that are either desperate or maybe don't know much about interest/debt for one reason or another.

TL;DR interest is a fee that you pay to borrow money. Be aware of that and thoroughly read any documents you sign before borrowing any sort of money. Debt by itself is not a bad thing if you know what you're doing, so just make sure you know what you're doing. You should pay off your entire credit card bill each month. And avoid variable-rate loans and pay-day loan places like the plague.

I don't have a link, sorry, but I know there's a YouTube channel called "Dad, how do I...?" And it's a lot of basic adult things. Such as change a tire, check your oil, resumes, tie a tie, things like that.

I don't know if it's long form, but I agree with you that videos are preferred for learning and disagree with the person saying Rule 1 for adulting is reading.

When cleaning surfaces:

1. Wipe down once with a damp sponge/cloth. This removes loose dirt and softens the hardened stuff.

2. Spray with a surfactant.

3. Wait five minutes to give it time to work.

4. Wipe again to remove remaining dirt.

If there's something you can't get off, use a harsher cleaner like Barkeeper's Friend. Wear gloves when using that. I can't unlock my phone with my thumbprint anymore.

Since you mentioned having ADHD in another comment which I also have, some things that have helped me and may also help those without ADHD as well:

• Remove friction from everyday tasks whenever possible. If you make it easier to get stuff done around the house, you'll have more bandwidth for other things.

• Setting alarms for things that you have to do is awesome. really helps with staying organized and just being on top of things. same goes for calendar reminders. keeping a calendar took me a while to get into the habit of but its super helpful.

• Anything you can have on autopay that you intend to keep like cell service, internet, utilities* etc. you should. It just makes sense rather than going through it each month for so many different things. *Utilities might not be good to have on autopay just in case you have weird discrepancies. one month I had to pay $1000 for electric. I called before I paid that lol.

• Use a credit card for small things each month to help build credit. i have a card that all its for is my cell service. Its on autopay as well as the payments for that card.

• Keep things in a cart for a while before buying them, it can help you to determine if you actually want that thing or really need it.

Also just cause others were talking about it, I find using videos as well a tutorials and documentation to all be helpful when troubleshooting/figuring things out, everyone learns differently and ADHD makes things like that harder. Having multiple ways to ingest that info can be helpful IMO. Not that anyone here is necessarily wrong in what they said, just coming from someone that also has ADHD, I get the struggles.

My parents always said: "No path in vain." By that, they meant that I should - for example - always take some plates with me and put them straight into the dishwasher when I'm on my way to the kitchen anyway. That's probably why my place looks pretty tidy today.

If I didn't still do that, the household chores would eventually overwhelm me.

I set a perpetual calendar reminder for cleaning the dishwasher filter every month, the HVAC filter every 3 months, the water filter every 5 months. My husband's calendar reminders are to refill his meds every 24 days. Those days add up to one extra refill a year.

My personal advice: Take notes.

Just write everything down. I recommend an actual physical little paper notebook and a pencil. If you think: "Oh I must remember that" or "I'm almost out of ..., I must buy more", write it down.

Now don't go writing down stuff like fun facts or YouTube videos you want to watch. Make it all practical stuff, stuff you need to do or is important in your life. It's your brothers birthday next week, write down the date and what you need to do to prepare. Your stomach hurt and you think you ate something that didn't agree with you, keep a log of what you ate and how your stomach felt. That way you can identify allergies or things you can't eat (anymore). Having trouble remembering names? Write down after you met someone: "Today I met Steve, Steve is in charge of accounting at Megacorp." Measured the room you want to put new flooring in? Make a little sketch and put the measurements in.

Writing stuff down physically forces your mind to pay attention and remember it later in a structured way. It also feels really good to physically tick off a task or cross it off. It can be a bit hard to keep up with and not go the other way and put so much into it, it doesn't help anymore. But it can help a lot, especially if you are the kind of person that thinks 8 times a day to put out the garbage, only to wake up the next morning and you've forgotten to actually do the thing.

I've heard good things about the "Dad, How Do I?" Youtube ~~series.~~ channel.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/@DadhowdoI

Find an executive functioning class and take it. It's, I think, becoming more and more a thing. My wife is starting to run them for local middle and high schoolers.
And YouTube is your friend. You can find help for just about anything. Taxes, find someone local or just pay a person to do them. States all have different rules.

Do you really not see an issue with the approach being taken here? You're looking for resources that you assume will help you, but in the spirit of the matrix movies, "You can't see past the decisions you haven't made yet."

The brain hasn't evolved to retain information it doesn't deem useful. I guess what I'm really getting at is, how can you be confident that anything supplied here will be retained if you were previously unaware you even needed to know in the first place? Don't underestimate the value of deep learning via experience rather than preparation imho. I promise I'm not shade-throwing, I was much like you when I was younger and have a couple similar reddeet posts, and it was mostly wasteful preparing to prepare nonsense if that makes sense.