this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 32 points 2 months ago (3 children)

30 thousand euros worth? Where are they sold?

[–] remon@ani.social 38 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] moody@lemmings.world 11 points 2 months ago

These guys were THIRSTY!

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If only there was a vegan alternative.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

you may not have any of my flower semen.

edit: no that's mean take a teensy piece

[–] F04118F@feddit.nl 1 points 2 months ago

Veganism implies consent.

Do I need to spell it out for you how to get a load in a vegan way or can you figure it out?

[–] Captain_Baka@feddit.org 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Kinda looks like milk, so maybe they were thirsty?

[–] RedstoneValley@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

Taking a bath in style

[–] JustARaccoon@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Other farms for insemination, my guess. I'd imagine they're for specific breeds.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 months ago

There are online marketplaces for it.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

The pedigrees of steers is a world unto itself. I've heard stories of people who were in the business getting wined and dined by governments. Bizarre but pretty interesting.

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How much volume is 30k of bull spunk? I'm thinking it must be at least a bucket full.

[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago

The official unit is bull-kkake.

[–] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Image the culprits, suspected to be fuck-goofs

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

He's a twiggy alien that's severely allergic to dogs

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago
[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

One man's cum is another man's income

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Is nothing sacred?

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Why there are no movies about sperm bank robberies?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago

Probably because the actual plot would be nowhere near exciting enough to compensate for the draconian restrictions enforced by ratings agencies for daring to mention human reproduction 🤷

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Wasn't that one plot point of Man of Steel?

[–] sudneo@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

There is Brassic episode about stealing bull sperm (although from a farm, not a bank).

I think it's S3e01

[–] RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How do you fence 30k of cow spunk?

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 months ago

I don't know, but once I was flying business class and the guy next to me had a liquid-nitrogen flask full of prize-winning brahma bull spooge. According to the guy, couriers like that are well-compensated. Made my work seem meaningful in comparison.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Do they plan to make Red Bull?

[–] Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 months ago

Finally, bull milk!

[–] thelittleerik@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

New Jackass Episode???

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Prost Mahlzeit!

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

My milkshake brings all the bulls to the yard

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

Creamy and delicious

[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] instantnudel@feddit.org 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well it's a little obvious don't you think? Who else would be able to handle this absurd amount of semen? Also what would an average person do with it? Exactly. Only a person that craves the seed like we crave for oxygen would do it. Somebody that literally breaths fresh life (because of semen)

Do you have any reason (or alibi) why it should not be you?

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago

"Quick, spit it into this thermos!"

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

The barrel was probably mistaken for Nuclear Bloom

[–] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Did no one see this coming?